Throw Your Colors at the Dark {Vic Fuentes}

1 - It Was Mine

    He couldn’t have seen me from this distance because I had to zoom in with my camera to get a good look at him.  The snow was falling a little more lax and the air was crisp so anything was possible.  I was shaking in my boots, unable to move, unable to look away from him as he stared at me with the same star struck expression.  It was as though lightning had lit us both up from head to toe with ten thousand volts each and our bodies were standing only feet apart.  The stare was so intimate, so in shock that I wanted to do nothing more than run away, hide in my two story house and wait for my fiancé to come home from work.  I swallowed, falling back down to reality before I managed to turn away.

    But it was then I was plunged straight into my past.

    “Alou?!” called the painfully familiar sound of Victor Vincent Fuentes, the man from my past that caused me to run away from my dreams and retreat into this hollow world.  “Alouette?!”

    I turned back, eyes meeting his as I watched him dash this direction.  I shook my head, whispering a soft no to myself.  If I met up with him, if there was even a hint or a single spark, I knew I couldn’t go home to my fiancé.  He was a prominent part of my history, something that I hid even from myself.  I didn’t tell Jeremy about him, only my parents knew and they were sworn to secrecy.  There was a dark cloud that hovered over me when I thought of Vic Fuentes and I would not allow myself to reconcile with that.  He was a spirit, a ghost from my past that was here to torment me…well I would not allow it.

    I ran as fast as I could, feet slipping on the icy surface of the road as I made a mad dash towards my car.  My boots found little grip on the slick ground and I worried that I would fall flat on my ass.  There was no way I could come face to face with him and live to tell about it though so I would do anything to get away from him.  I knew he would instantly sweep me off my feet, reject my feelings and then leave me in a shattered pile of glass.

    Just like before…right?

    There was a huge part of me that blamed Vic for what he did, for leaving me alone to fight the world and try to maintain my sanity.  It wasn’t right, but I believed whole heartedly that he was the one at fault here.

    Fumbling with my keys, I quickly unlocked my car and turned to meet his wide brown eyes as he slowed to a stop, hand in the air while it half waved at me.  The smile on his lips, the brilliant, toothy grin was fading into a disappointed frown and his eyes were becoming downcast.  The sight made my own body slump and I wanted nothing more than to run to him, cradle him and tell him everything was going to be okay.  How was it that after ten years, he still had this effect on me?  It was ungodly, impossible and so completely wrong.

    I thought I was over him when I met Jeremy.

    Before I could look at the perfect creature brought out from my past, I sped away in my Subaru WRX STI.  The blue monster could handle any terrain, ice, snow, rain or sleet like a champ.  Driving it was a distraction for the moment as the gears slid in place, clutch pressing to the floor and accelerator smashing to the ground.  It roared to life, squealing the tires as I sped away towards my suburban home where my future husband was waiting.

    My phone pinged and I quickly looked down when I pulled onto the freeway, misbehaving and starting to text a reply.  Jeremy was worried about me, asking where I was and when I would be home.

    On my way baby, just got caught up taking some photos for the newspaper, I texted.  I closed my phone for a moment and then heard it ring again, announcing that I had received his prompt reply.

    Hurry babe, I miss you.

    It was a cheesy thing to think that this man, this adoring knight in shining armor had found me in art school, scooped up the fragile pieces of my broken psyche and mended me.  He didn’t like the idea of me traveling all over the world because he wanted a family with me and didn’t want me to be in danger.  Jeremy was a good man even though he held me back from my true calling.  I didn’t mind giving up things for him though because I whole heartedly loved him.  He made me a good woman, an honest and good person.  Without him, I don’t know where I would be right now.