Messy Bittersweet Love

8. Bittersweet

"YOU MAY PROBABLY HAVEN'T NOTICE IT, but you have come a long way, Delilah. I'm relieved, if you could say that. I'm no longer afraid for you, sweetie. We have ended our sessions with a good note. My mind is at ease that you are no longer in a dark place" her therapist looked at her with a sweet smile and adoration. 

Delilah had been a tough nut to crack. The therapy sessions had begun the moment Delilah was discharged from the hospital, courtesy of Delilah's legal team. At first, the sessions were frequently filled with awkward silence, well, at least from Delilah's counterpart. 

Monica, was Delilah's therapist. Monica was a lovely woman in her mid fourties. Calming blue eyes welcomed Delilah three times a week at 7 on the dot. It wasn't on Delilah's intention to come forward as rude or mean. She had so much to say, too many things bottled up. Too many demons just waiting to finally be freed, she just didn't know how to. She would often be frustrated with herself because she was exasperated to just get rid of all the baggage she had been carrying. Years of trauma and pent up thoughts, when she opened her mouth to finally let talk about everything going on in her mind, nothing would come out.

To say that it angered her to no end, was an understatement. Luckily for the young girl, Monica took notice of this. She saw frustration swimming in Delilah's eyes, so she was patient with her. And Delilah was truly grateful for that. 

After their first session, Helena Flores was notified of the lack of conversation on her daughter's behalf. The woman was quick to show anger, disappointment and bitterness towards her daughter. Which only made Delilah's state to worsen, the dark swallowing her at a faster pace. But as usual, Helena was oblivious to the damage she had done, to the already fragile girl. 

"Just talk Godamnit! It can be that freaking hard. Talk."

Helena would often tell her daughter. After Monica knew about Helena's careless, and in her opinion apathetic attitude, she had a little talk with the grown woman. After Helena victimizing herself, she came to terms to not talk about Delilah's well being. Especially if she was not ask for her opinion. 

After Monica's hard and patience, efforts to make Delilah talk, she finally did it. The sweet girl confided to her about what pains her, her insecurities, her worries, all of her bitter thoughts and feelings.

Earlier on Monica used to see a fragile, damage girl across from her, who constantly fidgeted when she recalled the events and when she shared her feelings. Now, Monica is proud to see a strong and radiant girl across from her. Monica knew the girl used to be a little ray of sunshine, she wasn't lucky to know Delilah before everything happened, but today, staring into her eyes, she saw a glint. A glint she didn't use to see earlier on. This was the closest to old Delilah she would ever see. And the sight of it was truly beautiful.

Of course, it was impossible for Delilah to ever be the same. Especially after what the girl has been through. 

Delilah changed, but she still to this day didn't know if for better or for worst. She's no longer the quiet girl, if something bothered her now, she would speak up her mind. She was still over sentimental , her corazón de pollito making itself present at times, despite everything there are some things that never change. 

"How do you feel?"

"Good I guess" Delilah shrugged. "It's just hard sometimes, I honestly think that it would be challenging for me to ever love again"

"Would you say that you have develope a fear of men?"

"I don't know" she said vaguely, but then in a strained voice she continued "You know what, yes. I'm afraid to love again and get hurt, phisically and mentally. I'm afraid that I'll go through it again, all over again."

"But now you know better."

"Yeah I do, it's just- I know not everyone is out there to get me, it's just hard to put myself out there"

"And that is completly understanable, dear"

Delilah sighed and in a jokingly manner replied "That was an awful first ever experience with love. Incredibly shitty. I expected a love that would exceed expectations,something out of a romance book for instance, in result I got a messy and difficult one"

"That's where you're wrong, Delilah. That wasn't love, that is not normal, and that sure as hell isn't okay. Trust me dear, it pains me to see what have you had gone through, and I hope I did a decent job at helping you heal." Monica explained.

"You did, Monica" Delilah sniffled.

Monica inched closer to Delilah in her seat, and made a motion for the young girl to do the same. " Delilah, sweetie. A piece of advice, love isn't supposed to be messy, difficult, much less painful. When it's right, it's sweet and pure bliss."

That made Delilah falter and Monica shot her a comforting smile.

****

"So, how was your last session?" Nova ask from the other end of the couch the girls were currently lounging in.

"Good" Delilah replied while munching on a licorice stick

"I'm glad"

Delilah reached out to grasp Nova's hand in hers. With the simple gesture Nova knew that her friend was about to say something important "Thank you, Nova" Delilah said with sincerity.

"You're welcome" the redhead giggled, "What for?"

"For being my anchor, you dumbass" Delilah laughed.

She couldn't be more grateful for the girl in front of her.

Her true soulmate, she wondered.