Winter's Widow

Chapter 19: Pockets

I tried to ignore the slight dip in the bed as someone climbed on beside me. I was not ready to wake up. I wasn't ready to be a part of the world again. And I had been having a really good dream. I felt a presence behind me, and an arm wrapped gently around my middle, pulling me back against the sensation of warmth. I inhaled deeply and smiled. Natasha. I rolled over onto my back, covering my eyes as the sun streamed through the window, eyeing the redhead who had made herself at home on my bed. She was propped up on her fist, green eyes staring down at me. "Can I help you?" I smirked up at her and she smiled in return.

"You're going to tell me what's been bothering you," she said softly. I rolled my eyes and threw my arm over my eyes to block out the light and her staring. She didn't say anything, and I couldn't sense any movement and when I peeked up at her, she was still staring down at me expectantly. I took a deep breath, finally locking eyes with her.

"Nat, it's nothing." I grumbled and tried to turn away from her again. She held me in place by the hip, refusing to let me move.

"If it's nothing, then tell me what the nothing is," she shrugged her shoulders. "Unless it's something." I chuckled under my breath, shaking my head.

"It is way too early for these existential conversations, Widow." Her eyes flashed with amusement.

"So, it's something." I sighed. I was never going to get to go back to sleep until I told her.

"I have my evaluation coming up soon with Fury." Natasha didn't respond, so I finally opened my eyes and looked at her.

"What about it? You're a phenomenal agent." I scoffed and rolled my eyes, trying to turn over again. Her fingertips dug into my side a little rougher this time as she continued to hold me in place.

"You're a phenomenal agent, Natasha. Clint is great at almost any weapon. Steve's a super solider, Tony is a genius and Bruce is as well...I can't compete with what you all can do." She frowned as she looked down at me.

"You take care of us so we can take care of everyone else. That job is every bit as important." I inhaled sharply. I really wanted that to be true, but I was terrified that it wasn't.

"But if Fury takes me off of the team..." Natasha shook her head.

"He wouldn't do that." She rubbed my shoulder softly, smiling at me.

"You don't know that, Natasha." She smirked at me and tilted her head to the side.

"Don't I?" I frowned, staring up at her.

"What did you do?" She shrugged her shoulders, the smile spreading widely across her face.

"I'm a spy, Winter. What do you think I did?" My eyes went wide as I began to understand what she was saying.

"Natasha, you didn't look at my file!" We were whisper-shouting like champions trying not to draw attention to ourselves. She grinned.

"Of course not. I didn't just look at it, I read it." My mouth hung open as I stared up at her. I didn't know whether to be excited or horrified or terrified or some combination of all three.

"Well?!" She smiled and lightly kissed my forehead.

"You're going to be a part of the team for a long, long time, Agent Winter." I exhaled and stared up at her, feeling the tears welling in my eyes.

"Really?" She nodded; her eyes gentle. "Thank you." She grinned, sitting up on my bed.

"In payment for the good news, where's that hoodie that you like so much?" I frowned, trying to picture what she was referring to.