I found a translator on the internet hat changed modern day English into Shakespearian. Whoever can figure out the meaning of this story the best gets a short story dedicated to them.
Shakespearian Story
yore on a land far, far hence, thither hath lived a princess. The princess wast hath called Black Beauty and wast the prettiest wench in all the land. the lady hadst caramel coloured skin and long, flowing black locks of hair which wast smooth to the touch. that lady hazel eyes shone bright and the lady wast very clever and intellectual.
Black Beauty's favourite lodging wast the library. twas a tall, large, grand marble building and inside wast bookshelves that hath reached up to the very top, 3 storeys up.
twas in the library whither Black Beauty hath met that lady Prince Charming. the lady wast sitting in a comfy chair in a corner, reading, at which hour the lady hath heard a voice:
"That's a valorous booketh. "
the lady looked up to a see a small, scrawny knave with spiky ginger hair and freckles standing in front of that lady. that gent wast wearing a pair of small, round spectacles with thick, black rims.
"I knoweth. " Black Beauty replied and the lady gaveth a small nod to the knave.
The boy smiled and gaveth a small, slow nod back then wandered off.
After that Black Beauty saw the knave on the library every day at which hour the lady visited. Soon, the lady hath worked up the courage to asketh that gent his name (it wast Albert) and after that those gents oft arranged to meeteth up at certain times whither those gents would discuss books and stuff like that.
After many years of this, Albert finally proposed. twas at which hour that gent an Black Beauty wast talking about books, and that gent got down on one knee and held out a copy of The Fault In Our Stars. Black Beauty tooketh it and hath opened it up.
Albert hadst glued all the pages together but two, so twas like thither wast only two very thick pages. On the two pages he'd then highlighted all the romantic lines, such as 'I love you'. He'd cutteth a hole in the middle and in t that gent hadst placed a clear box, containing a diamond ring. Then, above the hole, that gent hadst scrawled in a red permenant marker.
"Will thee marry me? "
Black Beauty sighed happily an looked up at Albert, who wast looking worried. the lady plastered a scowl onto that lady visage and demanded.
"Why the such stuff as beetles are made in doth thee doth that to the booketh?!?! 'Tis vandalism! "
Albert looked doen, ashamed, and his visage blushed beer root red. But then Black Beauty leaned forward and kissed that gent, a right good marksman the lips.
at which hour the lady hath broken hence from that gent their eyes hath met.
"But, aye. " the lady hath said, and those gents kissed again.
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