Goodbye, For Now

Chapter Eleven

"Shelby was the most amazing girl I ever met. She was so strong, but she never realized that. I'm so happy she was a part of my life. I wish we could've grown old together. I loved her a lot. I'm sad to see her go so soon. Shelby hated goodbyes. Instead, this is goodbye, for now. We'll see each other again my love," I finished.

I took a deep breath and returned to where I was standing. A few more words were said and then it was over. I stood by Shelby's coffin.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Do you want us to stay with you tonight?" Harry asked.

I didn't look up from the coffin. "No, I want to be alone for a while,"

"We're so sorry," Madison said giving me a hug. "This should never have happened,"

"We're here for you if you need us," Mallori said.

"I know," I replied. "I'll be okay,"

They all gave me sad smiles and left.

"I miss you love, and it's only been a few days. I don't know how much longer I can take it," I said. "I hope you're doing well. I hope your pain is gone. I bet you're a beautiful angel now, watching over me. I bet you look even more beautiful than you did here, if that's even possible. We miss you love. I miss you,"

I wiped a few tears away.

"Goodbye, for now my love. I'll be with you soon," I said.

~*~

I walked home to our, now my, apartment. It didn't feel real. None of it did. I missed her. I missed her so much. Every second without her hurt my heart so bad. I let this happen. I was the one who left her. I let her kill herself. She's dead because of me.

I walked inside and shut the door. I walked into the bedroom and laid on the bed. It was so empty without her. I missed her body against mine. I won't be able to wake up in the morning and kiss her scars. I won't be able to hold her when she's having a bad day. I won't see her smile when I tell her a stupid joke. I won't get to feel her hand in mine. I won't feel her lips pressed against mine. She's gone, and never coming back.

~*~

It's been two months. Two months without my baby. It's been so hard. I missed her so much. I've done nothing but be depressed.

I stood in the bathroom, one of Shelby's razors pressed to my skin. She wouldn't want me to be doing this. I watched the blood run down my wrist and into the sink. All I wanted was to kill myself. I was ready. I need her. I can't live without her.

I thought back to Shelby's letter. I know what she wanted, but just can't do it. She's too important to do that. I'll never do what she wants. I won't be able to keep living. I'm ready. I'm going to see her again.

I walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. I walked over to the bed and knelt down. I pulled out a little brown box. I opened it. Inside was a silver handgun. I bought it a few days after Shelby's funeral. I'm ready to die. I need my baby again.

I picked up the gun and examined it in my hands. I looked over at my bedside table and picked up Shelby's letter.

"I can't do it Shelby. Please forgive me. I love you," I said. "We'll be together again,"

I placed the gun to my temple.

"I love you,"

I pulled the trigger.

A/N:

Hi! Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I hope you have a lovely day! :)