The Edge Of 3 O'clock

The Psychiatrist And The Magic Show Part 2

Trigger warnings: Gross imagery, self harm, suicidal implications.

Cat held my hand as Alba leaned over me, "I can see the bullet." Alba said. I could see the sweat roll down her forehead. I could tell she was more scared then I was.
Fuck.
"I am going to remove it now..just keep still." She said as she started to fully concentrate.
As she worked on getting the bullet out, I could see her looking at my scars. Alba only saw the ones on my arms, she didn't know about the rest of them. She was curious but didn't say anything.
"I got it!" Alba announced as she pulled it out and set it on the table next to her. "I'm fuckin good, holy shit!" She laughed and I laughed with her. "No, don't laugh. You're still bleeding."
"Oh.." I said as I looked down and saw that I was still losing a lot of blood.
"I need to put some staples in." She said as she grabbed a medical staple gun and started to close my wound.
"Is he gonna be okay?" Cat asked as she tightened her grip on my hand.
"He should be, I didn't see any organ damage. There was a small hairline fracture on one of his ribs but that won't keep a performer out of the game." Alba said with a small smile. "You're real lucky you know that Ryan, it's a fuckin miracle that it wasn't worse."
"Yeah...I've been told that I'm a lucky guy."
"Oh thank God." Cat smiled at me and rubbed her thumb against my knuckles.
Alba got up, "Alright, I'm going to wash my hands and find Jack."
"Alba, Thank you."
"You're welcome Ryan. I'll be out here if you need me." She said as she exited the room.
Cat and I sat in silence, it felt nice. In the silence we didn't have to talk about what had happened or what we feared most. We were running out of time.
"Ryan..I love you."
"I love you too." We sat in silence for a couple minutes more.
"Did you see the way Alba was looking at me?"
Cat tilted her head, "What way?"
"My scars..she only saw the ones on my arms before. She seemed pretty freaked out."
"I'm sure she was."
I looked at our hands, which were still held together, "What were your thoughts when you first saw my scars?"
"I.. can't remember. I am so used to them now." She said as she ran a finger up a line of old scar tissue that resided on my chest. "You now have a new scar that'll go with the old ones."
I sighed, "And they are both memories that I'd like to forget.."
"I'm not sure you can..you just have to learn from them."
-
After 18 months, I was finally done with the experimental treatment called sensory deprivation therapy. The idea was to just clear my head with no strenuous stimulation so my nightmares would just..go away. It was a big risk but it worked. When I got back home, years went by without any nightmares. It became a distant memory and eventually I finally got over my fear of going to sleep. By the time I became a teenager, my life was basically normal. I had friends, I played basketball, I worked on music with my brothers, I even went to parties. All I had to do was stay away from any violent media. As a teen, I wasn't really obsessed with girls until I met this one girl, Catrina Capps.
"Hey Ryan!" Cat said in a sweet tone.
"Oh, hey Cat!" I said with a smile.
"What are you up to tonight?"
"Oh you know, probably practicing basketball or working on some songs."
"Oh..okay, well I was wondering if you wanted to go to this magic show with me and some of my friends tonight?"
"That sounds cool, I would love to go!" I said with the biggest smile. "What time?"
"8 pm."
"Alright, I can do that."
"Great! I'll see you then?"
"Yeah, yeah see you then."
I couldn't focus for the rest of the day, when I went back home I was practically skipping through the front door. Adam looked at me and raised an eyebrow, "What's got you all skippy?"
"I'm gonna be going to a magic show with Cat and her friends!"
"Really? Congrats bro, you've got a date!"
"It's not a date, her friends are gonna be there."
"Mhmm, sure." Adam said in a sarcastic tone.
"Shut up, I gotta get my homework done and get ready."
I went to my room and quickly did my homework and picked out an outfit. I grabbed a nice blue dress up shirt and grabbed some black pants. By the time I was done it was 7:45pm. The time went by quickly. I heard my phone ding and it was a text from Cat saying that she was here. I rushed out of my room and as I was reaching the front door I heard Adam say, "Good luck on your date! Be back by 11!"
"Yeah I know!" I yelled back.
I shut the door behind me and reach Cat's car. I opened the passenger side and got in, "Hey Cat."
"Hi Ryan, I like your shirt."
"T-Thank you, I like yours as well."
Cat smiled, she was wearing a nice black long sleeve shirt with cuffed jeans. As she started to drive towards the destination I realized that she hadn't stopped to pick up any of her friends. "Aren't your friends coming?"
"No, they all bailed for some party at Bryan's."
"Oh..so it's just you and me?"
Cat nodded, "Yes it is. I guess you could say..it's a date. If that's alright of course."
I felt my face heat up, "Yeah, it's alright." I said with a bright smile.
I couldn't believe it, I was going on a date with the girl of my dreams. We made it to the magic show, it was in a small circus tent that could fit about 100 people. There was a small concession stand and I grabbed a medium bag of popcorn. She went to pay for it but I stopped her, "It's on me." I said as I pulled out my wallet and paid.
"You didn't have to pay." She said as we walked to our seats.
"I know but I wanted to." I said as I sat down next to her. We were up front, close to the action some would say. Me and Cat talked a bit and then the show started.
It started off cheesy, the pulling a rabbit from a hat, the magically disappearing a lady in a box. Then it was time for the sawing a person in half trick. Cat looked over to me and slowly moved her hand and covered her hand over mine. I looked away from the guy that started to saw the person in half and smiled at her. I looked back to the show just in time to see blood start to drip down onto the floor, I heard screams from the audience, I felt Cat grip my hand tight. All I could do was stare at the blood and limp body of the woman who was in the box. All of a sudden the woman started to move again and started to laugh along with the man who sawed her. Everybody else in the audience laughed along with them, except me. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Cat could tell something was wrong, she got up and guided me to her car. I numbly got into the car and I leaned back into the car seat. We didn't talk about what happened during the ride back to my house.
-
"Hey." Alba said as she came in with Adam and Jack.
"Hey.."
"How are you feeling?"
"Just tired, really."
Alba nodded, "That's normal. No shallow breathing or dizziness?"
I shook my head, "No."
"That's good, that's really good." She sighed. "Look, I think we all need to have a talk. The way we spend our next couple of hours is crucial, we need to have some sort of a plan."
"Okay, sounds good." I said as I looked at Cat who was looking like she was about to close her eyes at any moment.