The Edge Of 3 O'clock

The Psychiatrist And The Magic Show Part 1

I can't see.
I can't...breathe?
There's fresh blood on the floor...and on me. What happened?
Stay calm. Can I move my arms? No...damn it! Alright, relax. Don't show them how scared you are.
...Someone's watching me. Someone. Is. Watching.
I started to remember then. Only minutes before, we were back home at the apartment. But something happened there. Something bad...
That's right. We were attacked. By the man in the white van.
I remember the sound. It was deafening. There was quiet...then, bang after bang after bang. Shouting...screaming...crying.
That's why there was blood. I was hit.
I could feel it in my side. But if I screamed, cried, made any kind of sound, it was over. For all of us.
Cat...was Cat okay? Was anyone okay? I heard them scream before the window broke...right when he got me.
I heard footsteps getting closer to me.
"Morning, city boy."
They couldn't see me, but I glared in their direction.
"Now," They continued, "I'm going to remove your blindfold and your gag. If you scream, I'll kill you. Can you nod if you understand me?"
I froze up a little, but I nodded.
"Thank you."
I felt both pieces of cloth unbind from my head. I was...back at the hospital? Only now, it was empty, and in a state of disarray. I guess I'd been bound and gagged, and sat in a chair. In my peripheral vision, I saw the man who captured me. It was the same one who had attacked us before. A sour taste filled my mouth.
"I'm going to untie your hands and feet now," The man continued. "If you're able to, get up onto the table."
I hadn't realized it before. We were in an operating room. Surgical equipment and tools were on every shelf, every wall. What was I in for? What was he gonna do to me?
I was feeling it now. The Modafinil was sending me into a high. I felt like I could run a marathon. Thirty marathons. I was in a buzz, but also...focused, and calm? It was something I can't say I've felt before.
"Hold still."
He strapped me to the table. This was getting worse and worse by the moment. Fuck.
Stay focused. I might only have one shot at getting out of here.
"You're Ryan. I've heard all about you," The man mused.
"Uh...yeah," I replied, simply just trying not to piss this guy off.
"...Cat told me all kinds of stuff," He chuckled. "Nice girl. You sure are lucky!"
Shit. What did he do to Cat? Is she okay?
I laughed uncomfortably to try and play along. "Well...right now I don't...feel so lucky."
The man laughed, too. Genuinely laughed. He thought I was...funny?
I watched as he approached one of the racks of tools and picked up a saw. Fuck.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry out for help, for someone to rescue me from whatever hell I'd fallen into. But I had to hold it back. It had been made clear where screaming would get me. The way I saw it, I had three options.
I could beg for my life. I could break down, plead and cry and try to convince this man to let me go. But was it the most practical? This guy was insane. He'd probably want to hear me beg. Fuck that.
My second option: accept my fate and try to anger him so he kills me faster. I insult him and make him want to let me go. People try to do shit like that all the time and it works. But...no, it's too risky. It could backfire.
Option three...I keep him talking. Flatter him, keep him interested. It's my only shot. If Alba, Adam, or Jack made it, maybe they'll come for me.
Maybe. Or maybe they didn't make it.
"You mentioned Cat," I chimed in. "I was...worried I'd lost her when this whole purge went through. That pain hurt as much as your bullet."
The man cocked his head. "Well...they say broken bones mend faster than broken hearts. Maybe that's what's happening to you, my friend."
It's working.
I sighed. "When you fall in love...that person is all you can think about. They take over your thoughts, your senses. They blind you," I shook my head. "You can't see their flaws, I guess. Your family, and your friends...they all can see them. But it's all hidden from you..."
The man looked at me with curiosity.
"Eventually, sometimes, that person can lose hold of you. You can see more clearly, and the flaws become more visible. They can become so visible that you can't look away from them or focus on anything else..." I hesitated. "It's almost happened to Cat and I so many times. I have my demons, but...she's just...perfect. I don't like when she sees my flaws, y'know?"
The man hesitated for a moment. "...What has she seen?"
I stared at the floor. "Something unpredictable...it terrified her..."
"You don't seem all that threatening."
"Look who's talking."
The man sat down in a swivel chair and began to fidget with the saw in his hands. "What was she...afraid of? What were you afraid of?"
"That I'd do something to her...hurt her, or something."
He made eye contact with me again. "Would you?"
My heart sank. Would I? Was her safety really a guarantee?
"I...don't know."
Neither of us said anything for a while. I was worried I hadn't stalled enough. What if the man was plotting something in the silence? What if I was dead before I knew it? I had to go to extremes. I had to buy more time.
"...Unbutton my shirt," I blurted.
"...You want me to do what?"
"Just do it!"
The man chuckled. "You really are crazy."
I knew that what I was doing sounded ridiculous, but it might be another way to distract this guy from doing...whatever it was he was going to do. He gave me an odd sideways glance as he unbuttoned the top buttons of my shirt, which changed to a look of intrigue and curiosity as he saw the scars covering my torso.
"What's all this from?" He asked, not taking his eyes off the scars.
I sighed as I prepared to tell my sob story. "...You like magic shows?"
****
I tried to hold back tears as I finished retelling my story. I partially regretted sharing something so personal with someone who was probably going to try and kill me for the second time. But if it allowed for a few extra minutes, it might just be worth it.
"That's a lot of turmoil for one person to handle," The man said.
I shrugged, weighed down by the straps on the table. "It was years ago."
"So? It stays with you, sometimes for the rest of your life."
"I've tried to put it behind me."
The man sat back down in his chair and moved it closer to me. "...I think you need a little therapeutic care, my friend."
Play along, act like you want to buy what he's selling.
"Therapeutic...care? What do you mean?"
"Oh! I studied psychology in college. I think that, really, if we work together, you might be able to feel better about all this. How's that sound?"
I faked a smile. "I...yeah, this just might work."
"Excellent," The man chuckled. "There's just...one thing..."
"What?"
"I need to look at your brain."
There it is.
I tried to hide my terror behind fake intrigue. "...Why's that?"
"You see, most psychologists, neurologists, other brain doctors...they try to diagnose and treat you just based on what they see and hear about on the outside," He picked up a scalpel and twirled it about in his hand. "I say it's bull. Why try and fix something you can't see? Why not look at it directly? On the inside?"
I was paralyzed. My plan had been going smoothly, but now I was fucked. I didn't know whether to fight back, give in, or just curl up and cry. I felt my guts tying themselves in knots. My breathing quickened as the man brought his chair to the back side of the table, where I couldn't see him.
"It'll be a quick exploratory procedure, you'll be on your feet in twenty-four hours. Quicker than getting your appendix out," The man informed, as I felt him get closer to me.
"Wait, wait, wait!" I cried out, trying to squirm out of my binds and getting nowhere. "I don't want this! I don't want any of this! Get the fuck away from me!"
"Keep all this movement up, and I'll have to use anaesthesia."
"You're sick!"
"Hey now-"
"Help! Someone help!"
"Calm down, Ryan. I promise this is for the better. You can forget all about what happened to you back then."
"Fuck you!"
I kept trying to pull away from the man and his scalpel as best as I could. As I fought, I noticed one of my arm straps was coming loose. Loose enough that I could pull it free. I tossed the idea around in my head, all the while trying not to let myself be taken as an experiment.
If I ripped my arm free from the strap, he would notice immediately.
There was nothing I could do.
I felt my energy wearing thin as the man placed his hand on my head to hold it steady. He smiled an irritating, maddening smile.
"Okay, you might be a bit resentful towards me at first, but I think we could be good friends!" The man chuckled. "What do you say we grab drinks after you're healed up, eh?"
"I am going to punch you very hard in the face."
"That's the spirit!"
I took one last unhappy glance at the man before closing my eyes and bracing for the pain. I heard his deep breath. I knew it was coming.
"Steady, and..."
Pitch black.
It was the power.
"Really?! Now?!" The man cried out. He flew out of his chair. I couldn't see well enough to tell where he was, but it wasn't in the room.
Wait.
He couldn't see, and he wasn't nearby. Now was my chance.
I put as much pressure as I could on the arm strap, and it burst free. It went unnoticed by the man, who was still cursing and complaining about the power. This was working. I reached over and unstrapped my other arm, then my legs.
I was free, but now I had to be careful. The man could come back at any moment. The lights could come back on, and he'd want to continue his surgery. What more could I do? How could I distract him or defend myself?
I started adjusting to the darkness and saw the scalpel sat on one of the counters. It would have to do. I grabbed it and it sliced my hand. I waited a few feet from the door, ignoring the stinging pain in my fingers. I could hear footsteps returning to the room. My heart was nearly beating out of my chest. I stood as quietly as possible.
The door swung open and the man's face was filled with fear. I stuck him with the scalpel and bolted past him into the hallway. I didn't see where I hit him. I didn't care enough. I just needed to get the fuck out. I could hear him screaming behind me. Pain ripped through my side as I moved. I had nearly forgotten about the bullet wound. I needed to go, even if it meant aching pain.
"You're dead, Metzger!" The man's voice echoed through the empty halls. "You're fucking dead!"
The lights flickered and turned back on, stunning me momentarily. As I blinked and tried to find my way around, I saw someone I recognized sprinting in the opposite direction as me.
"...Jack?"
I turned slowly to see my younger brother, running full speed ahead toward the man who hurt me. He was alive after all. I followed behind to see what was happening.
Jack knocked the man to the ground with a hard push. The expression on his face was pure anger. He lunged and hit the man with a swift punch in the face, then another, and another. The man cried out in pain on the floor, but Jack wasn't letting up. He then glanced into the room I had been in, and it seemed he saw something of interest. He quickly sprinted inside and returned a few moments later with what looked to be a reflex hammer. I could distantly hear the conversation.
"Enough!" The man cried. "I get it! I fucked up!"
Jack shook his head. "Nah. One last thing."
Jack looked at the hammer in his hand and smirked to himself. He then glanced back at the man and raised the hammer high in the air.
"We're just gonna do a quick reflex check."
There was an audible ding, followed by the man's agonized screams. Jack tossed the hammer back into the empty room, creating a crash.
"Jack!" I called.
Jack's face lit up and he met me halfway down the hall. Tears filled the corners of his eyes and he fell into me.
"I...I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me." He muttered through choked-up sobs. "I just wanted to protect you, and-"
"What?" I questioned. "No, Jack, that was fantastic. Do that more often."
He froze for a moment, then cocked his head. "I can try..."
Pain shot through me and I brought my hand to my side. I started feeling faint. Jack watched me with worry.
"What the hell did he do to you?" He asked.
I hesitated, but I knew it wouldn't get me anywhere. And my problems would only get worse.
"He...shot me."
"He what...?!" Jack stared at the man with horror.
The man slowly reached a hand up from the floor. "I had my reasons-"
Jack glared at him. "Do you want your fingers broken?"
The man promptly put his hand down.
A static sound was heard in the area, followed by a familiar voice.
"Hey Jack, do you copy?"
Jack jumped slightly at the sound. "Shit..." He pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket and pressed the button.
"I got the guy, but you guys need to get in here now. Ryan's...Ryan's been shot..." He ended his statement with a tone of what seemed like disbelief. "...He's not doing good..."
"We're on our way, keep us updated if anything happens between now and then," Alba ordered.
I sat on the floor and Jack knelt down next to me.
"Is Cat safe?" I asked.
Jack smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we found her. She's okay."
I smiled back through heavy, wheezing breaths.
"Deep breaths, Ry. Relax."
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, trying to not let my emotions show.
I heard Jack sigh. "You've gotta be fucking tough."
I looked at him and kept silent. He gave me a reassuring half-smile.
"I'm...surprised you remember that saying..."
"Really? It was an inside joke for so long. Only now it seems like we can use it literally."
I looked at the floor dejectedly. "Yeah...it was quite the inside joke..."
"Ryan!"
I glanced down the hall to see Adam and Alba jogging toward us.
"Guys..."
Alba barely took one look at me and already had a plan. She looked at the other two.
"We don't have time to waste, he's lost a lot of blood and is losing more as we speak. We need to get him in that operating room."

****

I sat nervously on the operating table as Alba set up for the surgery. I watched as she examined each tool and determined which ones would work, which would not, and which ones she wasn't sure about.
"...Have you ever done this before?" I asked.
Alba sighed as she set a pair of very large pliers off to the side. "...No."
"...Ah," I mumbled in reply. "Well, this is my first time being shot, so...I guess that makes two of us."
She ignored my joke. "Do you know your blood type?"
I thought for a moment. "A minus...I think."
"You think or you know?"
"...I think I know?"
"Ryan, we need to be certain. A transfusion with the wrong blood type is the last fucking thing we need right now."
"I'm like, 90% sure."
Alba shook her head and made a note in her notebook. There was a knock at the door and Adam poked his head in.
"Hey."
"Oh, hey."
"How are you feeling?"
"Eh...I'm not dead, so that's something."
Adam cocked his head. "That is something."
"What happened to the guy?"
"The guy that shot you? Jack shoved him in a janitor's closet."
I chuckled. "Are you serious?"
"I guess it was quite the ordeal. Jack said he was crying."
"Geez. I've never seen Jack be that..."
"Assertive?"
"Mean, I was going to say."
"That, too."
Adam jumped slightly, then chuckled to himself. "Oh...and there's someone out here who wants to see you."
I raised an eyebrow as Adam stepped out of the way, and in his place, someone I had been yearning to see replaced him. Tears filled my eyes.
Cat.
"Oh, my god...Ryan..." Her eyes were red and tired from the lack of sleep. I hadn't seen her this low in a long time. We'd both been through hell.
"Cat..."
She approached the operating table and delicately placed her hand on my face. I could tell she was just as scared as I was, but having her here made things easier.
"Hey..."
"Hey." She sniffled.
"How's your day been?"
She laughed and shook her head before acknowledging my injuries. "What...what did he do?"
I shrugged. "I'll be fine. I'm just...I'm glad you're okay."
Out of the corner of my eye, Alba joined us. "Hey, Ryan?"
"What's up?"
"Everything's ready, we should operate now."
I took a deep breath. "Okay...I guess I'm ready."
Cat tensed up a bit. "Is there...anything I can do?"
Alba looked around, then shrugged. "Just...keep him company."
I could feel Cat's grip on my hand as Alba prepared.
"I'll stay right here, then." Cat stated.
I smiled at her.
"Okay...I'm going to start by cleaning the wound." Alba announced.
The antiseptic was cool to the touch at first. Then, the bubbles began to sting. I tried not to fight it too much, but it hurt like hell. I knew the worst was yet to come.
"Now, I'm going to give you a shot of lidocaine to numb the area."
The lidocaine shot hurt a little less. I looked up at Cat.
"If you need to leave at any point during this, it's...it's okay. I understand."
She shook her head. "I'm not leaving."
"It's probably going to be pretty intense."
"I love you. I'm not going anywhere."
Alba picked up her scalpel and looked me in the eyes with a nervous, but confident expression. "Are you ready?"
I sighed. My whole body was shaking with nerves.
"...Just do it."