Taste of the beginning

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by syeluhmaeh

by syeluhmaeh

Dear MY TOTGA

I am skeptical to whether i confess or not. Defense is done.

The feeling is not right but i want to let this out so that i'llbe able to move forward.

I already think about it many times and it still so hard to decide. There's something inside of me pushing me to tell it and on the other side it also pushes me not to. And i am so confused what to do.

I saw you...

Coming towards me

My heart was beating so fast and i cannot move. My eyes stucked on you my feet were glued on the ground. My whole system are paralyzed for a moment.

You said hi to me and i just answered you a nod because i don't know what to say that time.

I am fighting against myself. I told to myself "fuck! get the grip of yourself!"

We ordered cappuccino. We are both addict in coffee.

We are talking about some random stuffs and laughed about something we saw outside.

I decided to confess now. I should be careful to the every words to spill just so i can tell to him clearly. I took a deep breath and composed myself.

This is it. There's no turning back.

"I have something to tell you Mike"

You looked at me while smiling. The nervous that i'd felt is consuming me but i should not let those rule over my system.

"I am so sorry because i think i will ruined our friendship. Never did i thought that i will developed feelings for you. I am so sorry for having a feelings for you. It just happened that i already fell for you. But, no worries you should not think of what i said let's just leave it here, okay? We're still friends okay. Sorry"

There atlast... not whole but atleast i just let out some heaviness inside my chest.

I wasn't expecting anything from you that time. I know what's the answer so, whatever.

But...

I did not expect that you answered that you have feelings for me too.

It was the most happiest moment in my life that you also have feelings for me.

You hugged me very tight and kissed my forehead. The feeling was overwhelming i wished that there's no tomorrow because i don't want to finish the night when i'm with you. It was so magical for me.

You said you loved me too. And we should try to make things work for us.

We were happy as we tried to discover more ourselves.

Many months had passed. And it became a year for us.

There are times that is hard-very-hard for us. There were fights, there were jealousy, and doubts, but we surpassed it

I thought we are strong enough to face problems together but...

I was wrong.