No Matter What (English version)

Epilogue

So in this chapter the song will be a French one (I will put the translation), I hesitated to put the part with the song. But when I wrote the parts where Newt dies I was listening to this song, and I thought it fitted what he was feeling so I decided to add this now. And I cut some part of the song because it was really long.

Song: Jte pardonne - Hoshi

The recording stops.

An old lady gets up to take a box, and gives it to a young girl.

Abby: All the tapes in this box are songs she would sing or wrote. Sometimes she just talks about me or your mom too.

Little girl: Who is it in the picture?

Abby: Well Hazel, the girl with a green eye and a brown one, is your grandma. She was eighteen. Then there's me when I was twenty-two, I'm the tall girl.

Hazel: You seemed so strong.

Abby: Hey, I'm still strong for my age. The guy with brown eyes and black hair is Newt, your grandfather. And the last one is Craig.

Hazel: Okay, and in this picture?

Abby: Well, it's your grandma and I. She was twenty and I was twenty-five. Then the baby is your mom, she was two. Look how proud and happy your grandma was.

They laugh.

Abby: Here, listen to the tapes. And keep those pictures.

Hazel: Granny? Thank you for showing me all of this.

Abby and Hazel get up and go to the kitchen where they see Abby's daughter, Hailey.

Hazel: Granny showed me Granny Mae's tapes.

Hailey: Really?

Hazel: Yes. She even gave me that picture of you as a baby.

Abby: Now, you won't have to listen to those stupid rumors about her. And you'll really know her.

Days later

Hazel enters Abby's house.

Hazel: Granny look what I found! There's a tape with the name Newt on it.

Abby: I never heard this one. Did you?

Hazel: No, should we?

Abby: Sure.

Recording starts

Mae: Hi. Newt is dead. Even though it didn't seem like it, I really like this guy. I know it sounds selfish to say it now that hes not here anymore. But it's the truth.

I mean, even though he was a player, he changed for Abby and tried everything he could for her to be happy. I think Newt and I are not so different.

We just let jealousy and our feelings blind us.

Recently I have been listening to the music he was listening to. I Don't know why that was my way to connect with him one last time. And he was mostly listening to one song that almost made me cry. Because now I understand how hard it was for him. Now I realize that he was definitely not an asshole, he was a good man and he put all his feelings aside for her.

So I will sing it now. That's for you Newt.

Mae (singing): Depuis ses lèvres contre les tiennes
Since her lips were against yours
J'ai comme un poison dans les veines
I have something like poison in my veins
Y'a mon âme coincée sous les verres
My soul is stuck under glasses
Et dans ma bouche un goût amer
And a bitter taste is in my mouth

Je rêve seule avec mes acouphène
I dream alone with my tinnitus
T'as mis mon cœur en quarantaine
You put my heart in quarantine
Mon amour, tu m'as mise à terre
My love, you knocked me down
Aveugle et sourde et sans repère
Blind and deaf and without markers

J'te pardonne, pour mon cur fracassé
I forgive you, for my broken heart
J'te pardonne, pour tout c'que tu m'as fais
I forgive you, for everything you've done to me
J'te pardonne, d'avoir tout niqué
I forgive you, for screwing everything over
J'te pardonne, j'voudrais oublier
I forgive you, I'd like to forget

J'me sens conne, j'aurais pas pensé
I feel dumb, I'd never thought
J'abandonne, j'mets tout de côté
I give up, I put everything aside
Tu m'étonnes qu'l'amour fait crever
No surprises that love can kill
J'te pardonne, j'te pardonne, j'te pardonne
I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you
Mes larmes minondent jusqu'au fauteuil
My tears flood me till the seat
La nuit est longue, j'me sens si seule
Night's long, I feel so lonely

Mes rêves s'effondrent, ils tirent la gueule
My dreams fall apart, theyre sulking
Notre lit devient comme un cercueil
Our bed feels like a coffin
Mes pleurs se fondent avec la table
My cries melt with the table
La nuit est longue, j'me sens minable
Nights long, I feel pathetic

Mes rêves s'effondrent et jpète un câble
My dreams fall apart and I'm going crazy
Dans notre chambre j'vois même le diable
In our bedroom I even see the devil

J'te pardonne, pour mon cœur fracassé
I forgive you, for my broken heart
J'te pardonne, pour tout c'que tu m'as fais
I forgive you, for everything youve done to me
J'te pardonne, d'avoir tout niqué
I forgive you, for screwing everything over
J'te pardonne, j'voudrais oublier
I forgive you, I'd like to forget

J'me sens conne, j'aurais pas pensé
I feel dumb, I'd never thought
J'abandonne, j'mets tout de côté
I give up, I put everything aside
Tu m'étonnes qu'l'amour fait crever
No surprises that love can kill
J'te pardonne, j'te pardonne
I forgive you, I forgive you

J'en ai vu assez
I've seen enough

J'en ai vu d'toutes les couleurs
I've been through a lot
J'ai broyé bien plus que du noir
I had more than just the blues
Sur la palette de la douleur
On the color palette
Toutes les variantes du désespoir
There's every shade of distress
Il y a qu'toi qui peut me consoler
Only you can comfort me
Pourtant c'est toi qui m'as blessé
Even though youre the one that hurt me
C'est plus pareil, je nous vois flou
Its not the same anymore, were blurry
J'sens son odeur sur tes genoux
I smell her on your knees
J'suis comme un soldat fusillé
I'm like shot soldier
J'ai pas vu l'ennemi arrivé
I haven't seen the enemy come
J'ai appris à prendre les coups
I learned how to take hits
J'compte bien me battre jusqu'au bout
I'll fight until the end

End of the recording

Abby's eyes are wet. But she dried them before her granddaughter could see.

Hailey: There you are, Hazel. I've been searching for you, you're gonna be late for class, and Mary won'tt be happy.

Hazel: Sorry, Mom. I was just showing something to granny.

Hailey and Hazel walk towards the door.

Hazel: Oh and Granny, I just have another question. What's a soulmate? Because someone wrote me and my soulmate with our baby girl at the back of one of the pictures.

Abby: A soulmate is someone that will love you forever, like your grandma. She's my soulmate. And no matter what was happening in our lives she always loved me the same, even when we were mad at each other or when we weren't together She always loved me the same, and never grew tired of me. Even now that she is dead, we still love each other the same.