Someone to Watch Over Me

Chapter Twelve

The Company departed under cover of darkness that night, while Gandalf was occupied at the White Council. Thorin was gruff as he barked at everyone to get moving, and warned Bilbo that he'd better keep up because they'd wait for no man or hobbit.

Bilbo looked a bit shocked by Thorin's impatience and Seren bit back a smile as he muttered, "What is his problem?"

Her smile faded though, as her gaze alit on Thorin's broad back, far up ahead of her. For one who made it a point of telling her nothing more could come of their relationship, he seemed terribly grumpy about it now. Of course, she understood that, because while ending it had to be done, there was nothing remotely good or happy about it.

In fact, as she stared at that broad back, she found herself wishing she could take her words back. But even if he was willing to see where things between them led, she couldn't. As she'd said to Amara, there was that one thing he would want from her that she could never give him.

A child.

She'd long accepted her fate, and as she'd told Amara, she really did not ever long for children. She liked her life the way it was, and saw no need to change it. But at the same time, she found herself wondering what it would be like if she could have children. Silly, really, since it was a waste of time to dwell on that which she could not change.

But as they walked on through the night, leaving Rivendell far behind as they trekked towards mountains in the distance, it helped to pass the time, even if it was terribly unproductive.

Bofur fell into step alongside her. "How are you feeling, lad?"

"I'm fine, good as new, according to Amara."

"Good." He smiled as they trudged along. "It would've been a shame if we'd had to leave you behind."

"That wasn't happening, if I had any say in it." She glanced up at Thorin once more. "Is he always this surly?"

"Thorin? Not usually, no. I mean, he's not exactly the most carefree dwarf you'll ever meet, but he's grouchier than usual today. Wonder why?"

She shrugged. "Impatient to reach Erebor, is my guess."

"Aye, we are on a short timetable." He glanced around. They were at the end of the pack, with only Bilbo between her and Bofur and the rest of the Company. Then, to her surprise, he leaned closer and said, "Your secret is safe with me, lass. Just wanted to let you know."

She stopped dead on the rocky path. "I beg your pardon?"

He stopped as well and faced her. "What I said. It's safe. I won't tell."

For a moment, she thought her heart had stopped beating and she could only stare up at him. Thankfully, clouds clotted the night sky and blocked out the moon, which meant he couldn't see how the blood drained from her face as she tried to laugh off his words. "What secret?"

He offered up a long look. "I overheard Thorin and Balin last eve. But, you needn't worry, for I won't breathe a word."

"Overheard—"

"Seren! Bofur!" Thorin's deep voice rang out through the mountain passage and echoed into the valley far below. "Keep up or stay behind!"

Bofur rolled his eyes. "Aye, he's a right grumpy old fool tonight."

Seren swallowed hard as they began walking again. "If you breathe a word—"

"I won't." He shook his head. "Not a one. I promise."

Silence fell as they wound higher into the mountains, and while it was comfortable, she wasn't at all happy that yet another member of the Company knew her secret. Bofur had overhead Thorin and Balin. First off, why were they discussing her and secondly, how many other dwarves had been privy to that same conversation?