Home Ice.

Chapter Three.

Avery

I'm stressed.

The wedding is in three days and I'm getting wound up over everything, I just want it to go perfectly for them. I know that everything is done really and now it's just doing it, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna stress.

Cam, Sophie, Lindsey, and Lindsey's girlfriend Imani are coming over real soon for dinner. I haven't seen Cam in close to six months and I haven't seen Lindsey in a year, so I'm really excited to hang out with them. All of us being in Seattle at the same time rarely happens.

But now I'm stressed about that too and have been scrubbing the same damn spot on this stupid plate for the past ten minutes.

It's a black speck right on the center of the plate and I've tried everything but it won't come off and now not only am I stressed, but I'm frustrated too. All the other plates are laid out on the table but the placemat for this dumbass one is empty until I get it off.

I didn't even have to cook. We literally ordered Italian food from our favorite restaurant in the city, yet I'm stressed about that too. I just need to fucking relax.

Finn went in to shower after he helped me clean the apartment and put the extender on the dining room table so we'd all have room to sit. He told me to go to ready myself and I said I would after the dish was clean, but as per discussed - that's becoming a harder task than previously planned.

Olive is passed out on the floor next to me. She's been following me around all afternoon and she jumped on the first opportunity of me standing still to fall asleep, which I don't blame her for. I wish I could take a nap now too.

I'm so excited for this wedding, don't get me wrong - but I also can't wait to be able to breathe once it's over. Or at least once the reception starts. By then all my glaring maid of honor duties will have been fulfilled and all I'll have to worry about is making sure Grace doesn't drunkenly fall off a table or something.

But now I also have another sentence swimming in my head that's stressing me the fuck out. Make the appointment to get that implant out for next week.

His half mumbled sentence to me means an array of different things. He knows that I won't let myself get pregnant until he proposes, so does that mean I'm going to be engaged this week? Is it actually finally happening?

And if so, does that mean we're going to be trying for a baby within the next month?

The thought of either of those things makes my stomach flip, but in a good way. I could cry at the idea of the moment Finn tells me to marry him, and at the idea of us actually trying for a baby.

But with that comes anxiety I've never felt before, but that I know all but a few women who want to have a family experience. What if I can't get pregnant?

I know I shouldn't jump to that, but I can't help but worry about everything under the sun and this is a big one. Finn wants a baby so badly and I'm terrified I won't be able to give him one. There's nothing that would allude to that - I've always had a very regular menstrual cycle, I go to my OBGYN multiple times a year, there's no history in my family of infertility. I just can't stand the idea of not being able to give Finn the one thing he wants so badly.

I think I need to talk to him about this. I don't want to scare him, but it's been keeping me up at night and we've stuck to our promise that whenever something is bothering us - we talk about it.

I flinch when I feel a hand on my arm since I had no idea he walked back into the room, but when he presses against my forearm I realize how hard I was scrubbing the damn dish. I look up at my boy with a sigh but he just looks slightly concerned.