Fire On Fire [TK]

(8) I'll be gone

"In a little while, I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah, it's gone and I'm not here
This isn't happening"

— How to Disappear Completely, Radiohead

❀

— V —

The cake had six candles. 

One for each year.

Taehyung grinned, leaning forward on his toes. It was strawberry flavoured, his favourite. The frosting was uneven, a little too pink, the kind his eomma always bought because she said children deserved bright things. Warm light flickered over the table, over the familiar clutter of home, over hands reaching and voices overlapping. A soft tug on his arm had him glancing sideways where a brown-haired boy stood, half his height, holding onto to Taehyung's elbow, and eyeing the cake curiously. Taehyung lifted up his arm to shake away the hold, the boy looking up with betrayal until he brought it down to take the boy's hand into his own, his fingers threading through the boy’s much smaller ones. The boy grinned, and Taehyung grinned back.

“I won’t,” he promised, even though no one had asked.

A coo rose from across the table and Taehyung looked up to find his mother standing there, rocking a swaddled bundle squirming in her hands. His sister wriggled, tiny and pink and new, her face scrunched like she’d been born mid-complaint. 

“Blow the candles Taehyunga”, his mother's smiled, adjusting the blanket so the baby could see—as if she understood any of it. “Jeonggyuna will help his hyung, right?” His father crouched beside him, one hand steadying his brother, who giggled like this was the funniest thing he’d ever witnessed. Taehyung smiled at him.

“Blow the candles Taehyunga.”

He inhaled.

Blew.

The flames vanished.

And so did everything else.

Darkness swallowed him whole.

“Eomma?”

His voice sounded wrong—too loud, too small. He turned, panic skittering up his spine.

“Appa?”

Nothing answered

Silence hung like a thick fog in the air. It crawled over his skin, prickling all over.

"Jeonggyuna?"

His heart thundered against his chest. Where were they? Where was he?

We don't want you anymore, Taehyunga.

The words came from everywhere and nowhere.

"Eomma? "

You should go away. You are a burden.

“Please don't leave me.” 

We are happier without you.

“Appa, please don't leave me.” 

"Hyung!"

Jeonggyuna, please.

"Taehyungie hyung!"

His name snapped sharp through the dark. 

Please take me with you.

Hands. A voice. Urgent, real.