Fire On Fire [TK]

(14) Forgive the urgency

"If I don't say this now, I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate"

— Look after you, The Fray

❀

— V —

"I want to leave hyung. Go back to LA. I don't want to be an idol."

Taehyung froze, the words barely registering at first, like static on a radio he couldn't tune properly. Suspended in the warm night air of the terrace, tangled with the faint city noise below and the hum of distant traffic. Taehyung stared at Jeongguk, waiting for the punchline. Waiting for the smirk. Waiting for the inevitable, Hyung, I'm joking. It never came.

His smile dropped slowly, like something slipping from numb fingers.

"Huh?" His brows pulled together. "What?"

"I want to quit, hyung," Jeongguk repeated, flat, calm....too calm. Almost eerily detached.

The words sounded absurd and Taehyung stared at him because it looked like he had grown three heads. "Quit? Quit what?"

"I do not want to train here anymore."

Taehyung blinked. Blinked again. This had to be a prank, of course. It was Jeongguk's forte after all, aish, this idiot.

A laugh, more nervous than humorous, bubbled out of Taehyung's throat. "You can't fool me, Jeongguka. I know these tricks of yours. Clearly, Jin hyung's influence hasn't washed off of you."

Jeongguk didn't smile. "I'm not kidding, hyung." His monotone voice made the words feel heavier, more....final. "I'm planning to go back to LA. I talked to my parents, and Sejin hyung," he glanced away, guilt etched across his face, "they've agreed to talk to PDnim."

"Wait. Hold up," Taehyung shook his head, disbelief clouding him. "Wait. What? Why?" His heart stuttered painfully.

"I want to be a dancer."

"But you will be!" Taehyung blurted out. "You'll get to dance—you'll dance with us!"

"No hyung, I mean...I just want to be a dancer, full time, join a dance crew in the States."

The earth seemed to be spinning too slowly for Taehyung. Or was his own blood pressure dropping. Could be either. Maybe he was fainting. It might have been evident on his face since Jeongguk continued explaining.

"When I was in LA, I realised how much I truly love dancing. The happiness it gives me, the satisfaction, the euphoria. Doing nothing but dance for two months made me addicted to its high. A high I don't want to give up. So I thought I should go back. Train there, focus entirely on dancing. The guys will help me out there, and Austin-nim has agreed to train with him until I qualify for the advanced class, after that I could join a crew, or maybe work on other projects. I talked to Sejin hyung about it. He said it might be possible, I just need to PDnim's approval."

Taehyung opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. His vocal cords seemed to be malfunctioning since his mouth was unable to produce any sound. He thought Jeongguk was joking at first. But those dark brown eyes. so serious, so resolute, betrayed the truth.

"Hyung? Are you okay?" Jeongguk's voice was gentle, as if speaking too loudly would make it worse.

Taehyung jolted back to reality, "What? Oh, yeah. I am fine." His voice came out higher than intended.