'Mood' writing

S*icidal mind

How do I or how can I express how much I no longer crave to be apart of this world? Yes I fear dying but yet I no long wish to be apart of this world. Everyday I deal with things I dont wish to speak on. I just give the small details. Mostly because let's face it someone else probably has it worse or will sit there and make it a competition with you how they have it worse. Not realizing that you are just trying to let it out. Trying to basically let someone know or just show the smallest possible sign that everything is not okay. That everyday... Almost every second... you are just ready for it to end... but you can't just tell anyone because you know that it will not only hurt the ones you love but the ones who truly care about you. You try to stick it through because you feel as though if you do go you will be considered selfish or inconsiderate of them. When in reality you have been trying to so long for them... You have been pushing for them.... you have done most of what you can to be told you are enough or feel that feeling you always wanted to feel... but you don't... instead you try while the world and your mind bring you down more and more everyday and you just try... but no one knows that just like everyone else you have limits... and you are SO close to yours...