Love Train

f*cking TMZ

"Get in or you will be left behind," I snapped at Kristen. She was taking the longest time to put her converse on and it was driving me fucking crazy. Could she not have just done this in the hotel room?

"What's up your ass this morning?" She shot back, "There's no where we need to be back home."

"I've got a package arriving this arvo," Just a small white lie, "It's important."

"Sure." She said shortly, shifting into shot gun and slamming her door dramatically. 

I started the car and put it into drive, watching the cars pass by in order for me to pull out.

"Mac," Kristen said sounding concerned, "Look."

"I'm concentrating, Kris-" 

"SERIOUSLY, Mac." She sounded genuine, so I turned to see what she was talking about.

There was a man knocking on Kristen's window with a camera in his hand. He was peering in and saying something but it was muffled due to the closed window. In a state of bewilderment, I stopped the car running and rolled the window down. Probably some perverted "photographer".

"Are you and Johnny Knoxville currently seeing each other?" He spat out, camera clearly rolling.

It took me a couple of seconds to process what he was asking me. I let out a short dry laugh in discomfort. I was fucking baffled.

"Excuse me?" I said, unsure of what I'm supposed to do in a situation like this.

"You and Johnny Knoxville were pictured getting close at a backstage party at a Wolfmother gig and were spotted going into the same hotel room - is it true that you and Knoxville are currently hiding a secret affair?"

I nearly felt like throwing up. What the fuck is this? This has to be some kind of joke set up by Johnny himself. What a fucking asshole.

"Look, I don't know what you're getting at but this isn't funny in the slightest. I don't even know who you're talking about."

I rolled the window back up and quickly started the car, managing to pull out straight away. I gripped the steering wheel tightly. I could tell my face was completely flushed with fury and embarrassment.

"What the fuck was that?" Kristen said, baffled.

"I don't know. I just want to get the fuck out of here." I said, going a couple of kilometres over the speed limit as to get away faster.

We sat in silence while I manoeuvred through the busy Sydney traffic. 

I felt physically sick the more I thought about the whole situation - this was a lot more than just some perve trying to hassle us, this was some real shit.

"Kristen, get out your phone." I said shortly, eyes focused on the road ahead of me.

"I'm already looking at it; Mac, there's photos and everything. TMZ is spitting it in every corner of the internet," Kristen scoffed, "Fucking assholes. You're literally... wait."

"What?" I said, trying to keep my cool. This is surreal - what the fuck is happening?

"Not to alarm you, but someone must've taken photos of you two making out because they're right fucking here," She shoved the phone in my face and I nearly swerved off of the road, "Oh my god, Melanie knows."

I pulled over to the side of the road and stopped running the car. I was not in the right headspace to be driving, and the news "Melanie knows" was making that headspace absolutely worse. I sat back and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths.