𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕨 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕜𝕖𝕪 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 ➳

you have a miscarriage

Those words replayed in your head over and over again, so much that your brain had trauma blocked the rest of the world out as everyone else in the room kept trying to talk to you.

You had known, your body just knew. You didn't need someone to confirm it, it was obvious.

The blood, the cramps. It had all been just a little too obvious, and as much as you didn't want it to be true- God, did you not want it to be true, it was happening and this was your current reality that you had come face to face to.

"I truly am sorry for your loss, Mr. and Mrs. Starkey. Please, if there's anything we can do for you before we discharge you, please let us know."

Drew thanked them as they walked out, tears falling down his face as he sat back down in the hard plastic chair the emergency room provided.

He cried to himself quietly, but you said nothing. You sat there in silence, feeling the time pass by painfully slowly.

A miscarriage. You felt your hand fall to your belly out of instinct, finally snapping out of your daze as you realized what you had done.

You had barely been four months pregnant, and were set to find out the gender of the baby this weekend. You hoped for a boy, but deep down you knew it was a girl. Drew prayed every night for a little girl, hoping that she would turn out just like you.

When you had found out you were pregnant, you couldn't hold it in from Drew for very long. You had wanted to surprise him, but then ended up blurting it out at dinner that night. The way his eyes lit up when you showed him the positive pregnancy test made your entire world complete.

It was an accident. You'd only been married for a few months and had wanted to wait a little while longer so he could finish season three before having a newborn to look after. But it didn't change anything when you did get pregnant, he was over the moon.

"Drew," you whispered, finally breaking from your trance as you noticed your husband crying into his sweatshirt, the grey coloring darkened from his tears.

"Baby, how are you? Are you okay? Are you-" and that's when you cut him off, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him in for a hug. The two of you sat there for embracing each other for several minutes.

Drew continued to cry, but you couldn't bring yourself to choke up a tear. You sat there in silence waiting for this to all be over, but what you didn't realize was that this was never going to be over.

There was a knock on the sliding glass door to the room of the ER, and there stood a nurse with a bundle of paperwork for you to sign and a prescription for an antibiotic. She explained everything to you, making sure you knew where to find it all in the packet, telling you to make an appointment with your OBGYN for follow up.

As you exited the room, you could feel the entire staff of the emergency room staring at you and Drew as you walked hand in hand out to your car. Drew got in the drivers seat and held your hand tightly the entire ride home.

Much like your time in the emergency room, the car ride home was silent. Drew rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb as he tried to hold back his tears so he could see the road. It was three thirty in the morning, and all he wanted to do was yell and scream and cry to the universe about why life was so unfair.