"I kissed the scars" - JakeHoon

no.3

"Here.....its jake " the stranger, now his name is jake, said .

The boy looks at his contact, not knowing what to say , to good to be true,  he looks up at jake and nods , running away from him because he was to shy to stay close with jake . Jake only smiles, seeing him run , looking cute from behind , making Jake's heart flutter. He sighs and walks away too , going to where he was supposed to go .

The boy kept on walking, he didn't know where he was going he just wanted to walk and think, holding his phone with both his palms near his chest , still not believing what just happened to him,  having a sad smile on only by thinking of it . Trying not to cry because of it .

It just.....felt good . It felt good knowing that someone doesn't want you dead , that someone saved you and is willing to save you again because they care for your life , because they want you alive .
In all his life he have never thought that a person like jake exist , maybe they do exist but jake is the first person he have seen being this good with a stranger like him .

'He have a beautiful heart ....pretty inside and outside ' the boy thought and chuckles at it but also felt sad and happy at the same time, different kind of emotions were changing in a minute, not knowing really sure how he feels like,  but he for sure knows that he feels amazing. 

Walking until he arrives at one playground, sitting down on a bench made out of woods , a brown one . Still holding his phone on his hand , not letting it go, to scared that he might losses it . Kids playing and laughing, they were having fun , enjoying their childhoods . The boy looking at them , smiling,  he have always wanted to have a life like them , when he was a child to , seeing other parents take their kids back home and some bringing them here , it hurts . Seeing a mom smile at her son , it hurts so much but he can't do nothing about it.

He sighs , his soul wanted to explode, a lot of things happened today dont you think so , he was about to lose his life but yet a certain someone decided to follow him because he didn't looked good and save him , good . Suprising for him , that boys smile, Jake's smile was everything for him , he knows they just met and jake is just a stranger to him , just someone who saved him . He wants to be friends with jake but how.

Looking at the kids and one pretty little girl was running towards him , smiling making baby noises,  she was toddler. The boy gave her a smile , she was just so cute , she approached him and hugged his leg . A lot of good things happened today . He loves childrens, he always wished to have a younger sibling .

"Hey girl " he said,  not really sure if this was welcoming and not to scare her, the girl looks up at him , smiling, her eyes disappearing.  He was about to pick her up but he stopped when he heard a woman speak. "Hey...no " the woman said , he assumed to be that little girls mom . She thought that he will do something bad to her daughter.

"What are you doing?leave from here" she said and took her baby and left , the boy looks at the girl from behind with a sad face on,  he didn't do nothing, does he looks that scary that people hate him and think he is a bad person.

He shakes his head and got up from where he was sitting, going somewhere else , he didn't want to stay any longer because he didn't want to get in trouble only because he looks unwelcomed. 

Walking and walking, not knowing where to go , he cant go back home , his mom doesn't let him in , he would beg her and cry in front of the door but she still wont let him in . Why is his life like this , what did he do to deserve all this .

He sat down in one bench that he found near him , looking at his phone screen that was still on , the contact number there , its written jake .

He smiles at his phone , at the name jake , thinking of him again then he thought of calling him , he was about to tap the call bottom but he stops his thumb mid air. 

'What am I doing......he said when I'm sad or self harming to call him ......I can't call him wherever I feel like it ' he thought, pouts at it . It's okay,  he will be alone like he always is but he realizes that having someone by your side its not that bad .

Sitting all day is bad so he got up , it was 6PM, walking and going to his house , standing in front of it , at the front yard,  looking at the small house . He wishes so bad to go inside but he just cant , looking down and continues to walk , going more further away, arriving at one small bridge, he always stays there, under it . Under that bridge you had grass and near the grass was a small lake . Sitting there on his jacket,  head resting for the wall behind him .

Thinking about today . What if he just kills himself now, would it be bad , taking a knife out from his pocket, he had a small knife with him in case something happens but he uses it on his body.  Always cutting himself.

Holding the knife with his right hand , looking at his left wrist, rolling up his long sleeve,  it revealed his skin , his wrist that was filled with scars . Old scars , new ones .

He looks at it and brought the knife up to his wrist, touching the skin with the tip of the knife , pushing it down , making it to bleed , closing his eyes and biting on his lips so he can mute his voice.

The blood started to drop from his skin and on the ground.

.

Thank you.