"I kissed the scars" - JakeHoon

no.8

Jake is calling

Accept    |     decline
🟢                    🔴

Sunghoon looks at the name with his eyes widened. Why is jake calling him, jake doesn't know his number how could. Sunghoon only looks at it . wanting to answer but instead he declined it .
'Aha...why did I declined it!?' Sunghoon thought, regretting it . But if he accepts it what will he say to Jake,  what will Jake say to him and why did Jake call him , a lot of questions were going on his mind .

He sighs deeply , letting the phone to fall on his lap , he didn't know what to do actually. Is he feeling sad ? No. Sunghoon isn't sad , he was happy this day, the memories of today , he is re thinking again so he can be happy only by it . He is glad that he met jake , that he bumped into him . What if he didn't bumped into jake , he would have been in another world now , not alive .

He checked his time , and he saw that it was 10 PM,  it was late for him , his stomach was hurting,  he wanted to eat something but he doesn't have money , his mom have. Sunghoon got up , wearing the jacked and walks , going to his house .

Not much times passed and he was standing next to his house , looking at it , admiring it , oh how much he wanted to be inside, to go to his room and sleep on his bed and not on the cold ground. As he looks at it , he took a step forward and started to approach the house , standing in the front door and he knocked on it , he waits till his mom opened the door .

When his mom opened the door she widened her eyes "mom-" sunghoon said but she closed the door, and locked  it , sunghoon started to knock again on the door , feeling his heart get close and wanting to be free , he wanted to cry , sunghoon went on his knees near the door, holding the door knob. "Mom..mom please open the door " sunghoon said , and knocks on the door .

His mom was inside, near the door and she hears her son beg for her to open the door but she didn't, she felt bad ofcourse but she didn't open the door .
"Mom...please I'm your son....your son is cold mom " sunghoon said as he cries . Not knocking anymore ,to tired to do that , he was siting on the ground and only waiting for his mom to open the door .

"Go away " she said 

"Mom....at least give me food " sunghoon said , his heart hurts "why are you like this ....mom please...I need money " sunghoon said and cries , you can hear that he is crying because of his voice "give me money mom " sunghoon again said and at the word 'mom' his voice cracked,  making his mom to cry .
"Sunghoon....go " she said and held her mouth , muting her sniffings.

"Why the fuck dont you feel bad for your son ....give me some fucking money mom ....give me food mom " sunghoon said , getting mad at his mom , why was his mom like this , if she doesn't have money she at least should give her son some food or take him back in his house like a real mother .

"Do you hate me that much  .....because I'm gay" Sunghoon said,  to tired to speak even more , he have had enough of this , he wanted to leave and go back to his place but he couldn't get up , his home looks sweet , home sweet home .

"I get it now...you hate me ...EVERYONE HATES ME " Sunghoon said and got up , he wanted to leave , he couldn't stay here anymore , what's the point of staying here when his mom is being like this  . Sunghoon got up , hitting the door with a kick , eyes red from crying. 
Today was kind of cold, his hands cold and you can see his knuckles turning red from cold and from knocking on that door .

He left the house,  wanting to scream , going back to where he was ,under that bridge.  He was crying that he hated so much himself and wanting to die and that's what he did , self harming, as soon as he got under that bridge he took the knife and cut his tummy, he made a new cut in his stomach,  making it to bleed , the blood going down to his pants,  making the hem of his pants with blood , he didn't care,  he was crying and cutting himself until he felt satisfied with it he dropped the knife on the ground.

What's the point of living when your own parents doesn't want you, they shouldn't have brought you in the world on the first place knowing that you will hate your own kids , sunghoon was gald that he is a boy and not a girl , if he was a girl it would be worse because he is a boy and its really bad .

Staying alone,  in the dark , no food , no money,  no clothes ,  being scared if something bad will happen,  you have bad guys so he is scared of someone raping him , scared of the dark and everything, he couldn't live like this.  It was tough , to much to handle.

Sunghoon lays down,  still crying,  holding his stomach because it hurts , it hurts so much that he wanted to scream really loud and take all the pain away , by screaming, it helps sometimes .

.

Jake was in his room , later on he called an unknown number,  he didn't know who they were so he called them but they didn't answer and they declined it .
He was laying on his bed with his dog next to him , petting his dog , watching a film on his xbox on Netflix.

His mom was probably asleep or talking on the phone with her husband, they love each other a lot and miss each other .

As jake was looking at the tv , with his dog beside him , someone called him .
He checked the phone and it was unknown number.

'The same number ' jake thought.

.

Thank you.