The Ducc Story

Chapter Two

If you were wondering why Elise considered Grephaniel one of her besties, that mystery shall now be solved, patient reader. First off, Greph, who as we know is a big-time crime lord, has an elite team of bank heist operators. They run many a covert mission, and each one has their specialty. Loui is the gunman, Yammie the getaway driver, Karklopolis the decoder/hacker and Marquez (As you may remember, this is secretly Grephaniel), the brainz. When Elise had confronted Grephaniel, she had done so in a public space for she feared danger, and she wanted to remain where there were witnesses so that Greph was less likely to do something scary. Well, that public place so happened to be the bank. Oh heist day. And poor Grephaniel still had to do his part in this escapade, even though Elise was questioning him. His answers to her consisted of "quack qwuak," and "wack wack," as expected since he IS a ducc after all. Unbeknownst to her, this was actually all secret code for his accomplices. Elise totally had NO IDEA what was going on until she heard the police sirens approaching the bank and Loui running around with a gun. She had been in the process of telling Greph a dad joke (important to judge his humor) when all this hulabaloo erupted.

"And then the giraffe told him that-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Elise guffawed as everything started to get crazy and some of Grephaniel's associates came up to him, calling him "boss" and informing him that the getaway car was ready. ELISE 👏 WAS 👏 SO 👏 SHOOK 👏 !!!!!!!!!! Her shookness MAJORLY INCREASED, though, when Greph turned to her and SPOKE IN PERFECT ENGLISH.

"Madam, do not fear, for I do this for America. Mclady, I do this for love and honour! I am robbing this bank for the people of this Earth, so that they too may have hope. Elise Bryan (obviously her last name since she is married to Bryan), you must help me restore peace - come with us." He held out a wing to her as if he was going to ask her to shake hands.

Elise was so SHOOK that she UTTERED A SWEAR.
"Florklesnapps!!" she cried, and a combination of shookness and being so moved brought her to help them. They would not have successfully robbed that bank that day if not for Elise (and Sunshine's help at the end but that's a whole different story. Sorry 🤷‍♀️), and the whole crew was so grateful that they let her join.

Elise WAS NEVER THE SAME after that day. She now had to keep a really big secret from her husby, the man she truly loved. A HUGE and WACKY secret - the fact that his pet ducc was really a mass murdering, robbery spreeing, body hiding crime lord. This took a toll on Elise - and their marriage. Bryan could feel that something was wrong, something was causing them to GROW APART, but he couldn't figure out why and it frustrated him beyond belief!!!!

Eden, too, could sense something was up. One night, as she confessed her worries to Sunshine, she came up with an AMAZING PLAN. Her teaching job didn't pay nearly enough to finance this scheme of hers, so she purchased a banana suit and became a street performer in order to earn some extra moolah. Eden was, of course, the best street performer that Tulsa, OK had ever seen, so she earned TONS of money and could finance her plan in two short months. She went all around town, buying a Kidz-Bop album, JoJo Siwa ice cream, and Taco Bell because those were the only things that would cure their relationship (along with some Mall Cop 1 & 2 and Ocean Man Voice Crack, but Elise already had those). The plan was perfect - she was going to save their marriage once and for all!!

But Eden was too late.

Almost.

Their marriage was ALREADY ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE and Grephaniel dragging a body down the sidewalk was ONLY MAKING IT WORSE. But upon Eden's arrival everyone went quiet. And by everyone, that means THE WHOLE STREET. Sunshine stopped barking, Bryan stopped yelling, Greph stopped quacking, the monkey on the neighbor's lawn stopped screaming, the cockatoo in the community swimming pool stopped barfing, and there was total silence.

Even the man spying on them held his breath as he watched through his binoculars. The melodramatic moment came to an abrupt end when Eden spoke.

"Guys... I... I brought Kidz-Bop," she said in a harsh whisper, the look on her face very intense. Her appearance was VERY JARRING - and her banana suit made everything weirder.

All Bryan could do was stare in SHOOKNESS as the shooktastic events that had occurred in a mere 19 1/3 minutes and how fantastically wacky they were suddenly came down on him.

All while this was happening, and Elise and Bryan were distracted by Eden, Grephaniel silently slunk away with the body of the moose's mother, the regular human man. Only Eden noticed, but she thought it best to keep quiet. Save marriage first, report murder later.

Now... here is the sad part.

Bryan, overwhelmed, breaks down, swinging his arms wildly before curlng up in burrito form on the ground in the blanket he had accidentally brought outside and starting to sob on the sidewalk. After that, CHAOS ENSUES. Bryan's RECKLESS ARM SWINGING knocked the Taco Bell and JoJo Siwa ice cream out of Eden's arms, causing them to spill EVERYWHERE. Eden stood in shookness for a moment before also BURSTING INTO TEARS. Elise thusly follows suit and starts crying (her 5th time that day, in fact) because her bestie sister and her husby are both crying. And for Eden, this was the LAST STRAW.
Voice shaking, she finally says, "I went out on the street for months, performing and working hard to fix this... and then it all blows up in my face!" Tears continue to roll down all of their faces as Elise does the only thing she knows to do.

She raises her kazoo, and begins to play a mournful rendition of "The Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. By the end of the solo everyone had stopped crying and were looking up at her with glistening eyes, including the man who was spying on them. She then turned to Bryan and spoke intently.
"Antoin Casanova (which is obviously her pet name for him, duh), I love you with all my heart and I never meant to keep anything from you but.... Grephaniel and I robbed a bank. I swear to you that it was out of love...." She lowered her head, a single tear running down her face, CERTAIN that he will be angry at her. But no - Bryan, unsure of what he's supposed to say, but completely sure of the fact that he loves his wife more than anything, wraps her in a warm embrace. Henceforth, Eden begins crying more tears - TEARS OF JOY. Her plan DID work! Not in the way she had expected, but it worked out in the end.

BUT THEN, they heard a cough from a nearby tree. Turning swiftly, they could see a man sitting up there and watching them with binoculars. They were, yet again, shook!! But that was not nearly the most shookifying part of the whole thing. WHAT SHOOK THEM THE MOST WAS THE FACT THAT SUNSHINE WAS SITTING NEXT TO HIM IN THE TREE.