The Ducc Story

Chapter Three

Last chapter, we saw Sunshine in the tree with the Spy Guy. Time freezes as our favorite Golden Retriever turns to an invisible audience and begins to speak an aside.

"You may be wondering how I got into this situation. You see, I met this man," she explains, pointing to the creepy spy dude. "Named General Doogiedouser at the local Sleep Addict Annonymous and we quickly becaome close friends, based upon both of our love of sleep." She wags her tail at him for a second, but he continues watching Bryan, Eden, and Elise with his binoculars.
"But there was one problem... he HATES Elise's content!!" Here, Sunshine pauses (pawses?) for dramatic effect.

"But he was so fun to be lazy with that I just couldn't help but continue to hang out with him. We were supposed to be mortal enemies and yet..." she chokes out a sob here and looks down at her paws before taking a deep breath and continuing. "I had finally found someone who understood me just as much as Elise. Maybe... maybe even MORE," Sunshine sighs. "Of course, when he said that he planned on ruining Elise's life by giving Bryan a pet ducc who also happened to be a mob boss and mass murderer, I didn't realize how much chaos would ensue!! He explained that his plan was for Elise would find out, leading into a thickening plot and eventually to her keeping a MASSIVE secret from Bryan. It wouldn't be long until he would sense that something is going on but not know what, and it would continue and continue until it all built up into a peak of drama and anger and everything would fall apart ......" Sunshine looks down at the trio below them, obviously torn and very sad.
"Their marriage would fall apart, taking Elise's happiness, life, and will to make content with it.
I thought, 'No way bro, I can't let you do that! Elise is too awesome for this!'
So I of course confronted Doogiedouser about such problems - after a short nap, of course - but THEN he unexpectedly pulled out a doggie bed from his trousers (how did that even fit in there?!) and said,

"If  you don't help me, I will burn this bed and never let you be a cute lazy pooch EVER AGAIN!!!"

That is OF COURSE pretty scary but THEN he also threatened ruining Elise's cry sessions!!! How awful!! So, in order to stop these atrocities from happening, I was forced to assist him with his evil plan." She pauses at this time for the invisible audience (you, the readers) to gasp in horror.

"So when Elise and Grephaniel were about to get caught by the police in the bank heist, I had to come and help them escape in order to ensure that the General's plan could continue to unfold." She shakes her head mournfully as she finishes her story. Then, her demeanor changes as she turns back to the audience.

"And that's what you missed on the 'Lazy Channel,' folks!!" Sunshine turns to the invisible audience once more, winking at them as they applaud and cheer. Time unfreezes and General takes a step toward the Ecklund family (or the Landry family + Eden? Maybe just Sunny's Fam, I mean it's the truth after all. But wait, wasn't Elise's last name Bryan now? I'm confused. I don't want to think about this anymore moving on.), forgetting that he was in the highest branch of a tree 20 feet in the air.

"I am here to ruin your- OOF ahhhhhhh NO PLEASE NOT ANOTHER BR-hurgh-ANCH!!!!" he tried to announce but ended up screaming hysterically.

crunch!
crash!!
SPLASH!!

"Why is the community swimming pool in the treeeeeeeeeeeeee!!?!???!!!??"

crack!
smash!!

"And how is 20 feet this highhhhhhhhhh uuuuuplllll?!!!??!!??!!!?!!?"

snap!
smack!!!

"Is that a monkey on the neighbor's lawn??!?!!"
whack!!!
SPLAT!!!!!
The General fell onto the sidewalk with a great squishing sound, and the family began to surround him...
Now, during this... eventful fall, Bryan had quickly Narruto run inside the house in order to grab the nearest thing he could find for self defense. When General Feliz Doogiedouser finally recovered from his... minor fall he found that he's been encircled by a banana lady holding a a Kidz-Bop album, a girl with a kazoo, a dog with a wagging tail, and a man with a Pitbull cutout. Eden (still wearing her banana street performer costume) steps forward boldly.

"Yer not goin' anyware," she tell him, knowing that accents are intimidating. This fact lead her to choose a pirate accent, because one of her kindergarten students had told her just how scary it was once.

"Oh yeah? Well, I politely disagree with you, Madam Banana." General Doogiedouser smiles, even though he had lost almost all of his teeth from the fall, as he then pulls out a very ominous looking button from his shoe and presses it. Upon that action a loud booming sound could be heard, coming at first from far away, but getting closer and louder unsettlingly quickly................