all that could've been → jjk

xii

CHAPTER XII ; FLU BLUES

"please, don't do anything stupid."

funny how that's what you've been doing throughout the past year. you can even say that what you stepped into is an entirely different story, an eccentricity of some sort of reality, a different persona you've manifested.

but maybe 'stupid' here refers to something else.

stupid meaning unconsciously riling up people's emotions and getting yourself caught between two arguing parties, over something petty. stupid meaning not giving your piling laundry a second glance and locking yourself up in your room to binge watch on tons of tv series lost in time. stupid meaning unaware of how that 9 over 60 in an exam would let a math teacher exasperate in frustration.

yet somehow, the tone fushiguro used angered you in the moment.

because stupid meant dissociating from once close friends but eventually drifting back only to find out you're two stories behind. stupid meant your mind bursts into smithereens at the mention of quick essays and not the usual tingles of excitement running in the back of your mind. stupid meant losing interest on what was before.

in your words, stupid meant not being who you are; and so, the greatest set back for today is that you are who you are now.

but knowing fushiguro, he will never mean it that way. he probably meant something like escaping your bedroom through the window and falling down to the first floor and busting a lip from some kind of impact in y/n fashion.

that even angered you more.

were you that bare all along? predictable and known as trouble waiting to happen?

surely, you're overthinking.

'yup, i'm overthinking.'

"sorry, l/n! didn't know you got grades to catch up on." hollered itadori in a distance with fushiguro right by his side.

considering the amount of distance you currently have with them, for an outsider, it may have look like two men's pursuit to convince a sociopath out of their humble cave when in reality, you're doing the convincing.

"i'll just have you know, fushiguro-san. i'm fine!"

"this is your third attempt of going to school. usually you'd avoid going; there's nothing 'fine' about that," he urged himself to eye roll after days of tolerating most of your shenanigans but the hand on his shoulder held him back. "i'll drop off your stuff by the end of the day."

the distance between you and them never felt more longer now that fushiguro was dead on turning a deaf ear on your pleas and walking opposite of your direction. it tempted you to step out of the doorway you're currently clinging on to. . .

not that anything was holding you back. you're your own person but man, you're guilty conscience is really taking a toll on you.

"b-but- projects! there might be projects and i won't be there to- are you even listening!?"

somehow the self-proclaimed sociopath now appears to be some crazed ex or divorcee; yet you made sure not to let any room for pity today, you want to get out for pete's sake!

"i heard l/n's an a+ student. didn't know they were this attached to academics. . ." itadori pondered out loud, guilt rising down from his stomach as your voice slowly got mixed up in the twitters of birds and the cacophony of students hollering for meat buns.

"l/n's just trying to shake off the remnants of the shackles that are binding them from relishing life's goodness,"

fushiguro murmured but itadori did not let this pass him as he gawked at the sullen look his best friend has grown accustomed to. he rubbed the other's back for reassurance.