Warum?

A question of meaning

When we look at that, we need only a few things. Not more. You could say, we need some things for happiness, and well yeah, but we don't need happiness in life, so we also don't need the things for happiness. <But we do need happiness.> Why? <Because it makes us feel good.> Why do we need to feel good? <Because it's better than not feeling good> Why is it better? <Because it just is> Care to give a reason for that? <I don't know.> We don't know. When we get to the bottom. Nothing really makes sense, nothing has meaning. There's no meaning in life. But who cares about that? It's irrevelant. But even that is irrevelant. And that also is irrevelant. And it goes on and on and on. Until infinity. So no winner. No objective winner at least. That life has no meaning vs. life has meaning because of it vs. that life has meaning because it's meaningless, but that's meaningless is an infinite battle without winners or losers.(The third player, is also the first one, so I didn't had to write it out. I did so you can see that the second option was considered.) So when someone says <Life is meaningless.> You can't say <No you're wrong.> But you can say <Yeah but at the same time it has meaning. But you're not wrong as well as I'm not wrong.> I know that this created a paradox. Like the quote of Socrates "I know that I know nothing", which results in I know that I know nothing, probably. So I even don't know that, probably. Ok, back to our paradox. And well, I see no other way than this paradox. Sadly. Many big questions can only be answered as a paradox. Maybe because so everyone can have their turn to guess, maybe so it's not boring. Maybe. I don't know. I only know in this matter, that this is my best answer. A paradox where you can pick your perspective, knowing the other one isn't wrong. In some way, it makes life hopeless but also full of hope. Ugh, again a paradox. Fuck. Seems like I can't escape them. But no, what you choose doesn't determine if you want to kill yourself-skip life- because you can still want to life when you say life has meaning or when you say it's meaningless. Of course, maybe you want to kill yourself, because you take life is meaningless. But often also other factors play into it. When you're queer, live in a nation that condemns that in a strict and controlling household that condemns that and are poor and don't have any chance of change. Then you had bad luck. I know I'm saying that from a point of privilege, privilege that I live in Austria and aren't poor. I know that sounds so fucking bad and unfair. Life's not fair or unfair. It just is painfully neutral and indifferent. I know that this fucking hurts. And I know that I won't care the majority of my time, because humans aren't built that way. I'm not built that way. I feel sorry and guilt for that, though I know I won't feel that most of the time. Wtf is this all. Maybe we're all to smart for our own good. Sometimes I wish we wouldn't be. Though then we wouldn't experience the best things and Woah-moments. To feel the best, we also need to feel the worst. So it all is equal.I don't why it is this way. I don't know.