Lord of the flies: The beast inside you

Seven~Stolen chilhood

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~I can't help but stare
Somewhere I see the truth in your eyes

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We walked back to the fire in silence. I had no idea what to say. No idea what to think at that matter.
I felt jacks grasp on me, he was more gentle with me than the other jack.
"I don't wanna do this anymore to you." Jack said, a look in his eye.
"Go."
"Go?" I asked. Confused.
"Go. To Ralph, Go!"
I looked into him once more. He was slowly fading from me, and I would never see him again. I leaned in and kissed him. That kiss would never be forgotten from me. Or him. I looked at him one last time, wiping his tears. And I ran. I took off, leaving him alone. Leaving him to go savage. I took off for Ralph, not noticing the spreading fire around in the forest. The once vibrant greenery bursting in flames, blackening. Destroyed.

I ran on the beach, along the shore, it stung as I did so. The stinging water which was now piggy's and Simons grave splashing up my legs and I ran, not meeting eyes with the forest that was now alight. The sky was no longer filled with hope and subtle clouds and the frequent blue that peeked through them, it was heavy and thick with smoke. It didn't feel like smoke, it felt like emptiness and the glare of savagery on the island every time I looked up. Every time I looked anywhere. There was nothing, nothing on this island that would reassure you comfort, nothing made you feel like you would go home. Nothing resembled comfort or silhouetted a smile. You couldn't escape the feeling. It was just there. Inside of you. Everyone on this island knew it would never be the same for them when, if, they returned home.
Every time an eye closed in your bed at night you would think you'd wake up back on the island. Haunting. My heart broke for the little ones. Who once had a childhood, who once rode bikes with their fathers and other small friends who would do that with them, who would once ask their mothers to read them a bed time story and be kissed good night. Now that was all gone. They grew up too quickly on this island in the few months they were here. My heart broke for the youngest.
Five.
His life had barely started and he was being tortured by a repeated slashing off a whip and confined arms to a spear.
I remembered seeing his face. He had to stay silent but I knew inside he was screaming. Like all the boys were. You couldn't see it on their faces, their body language or their voices. You could see it in their eyes, the fear and the screams. Deafening, but so silent. I could hear those screams. I could hear the screams from piggy and Simon. And I would never forget them.
I didn't realise I had stopped running and was on my knees. The island was a Smokey nothingness, nothing but a graveyard of sorrow and thickening black and orange burns. The forest's freakish whispers wittering away slowly.
My lungs were like a soot chimney, filled with charcoal and black. My limbs quivered and my heart throbbed loudly, almost too loud. Everything on the island was like an orchestra, the screams of the silent savages and the quiet death wish of the smoke and the waves crashing on the sand one after the other. Perfectly timed.
I looked behind me. My heart thundered, my head throbbed and I couldn't see. I could only see blurs of skin coloured blobs coming further into view and the shouts and animalistic hollows of boys. Wild boys. Boys who had no clue what they were doing with themselves, their mind wasn't controlling them but their leader. They were the puppets while their puppeteer lead them on. Blind boys. Poor boys. They weren't boys at all. They were beasts. Their insides becoming their out.
They ran. Spears clutched in hand, fire in their eyes.
They were coming for me.
I lunged myself up as best as I could, before falling back down again.
"Not now."
My hands pushed myself up. I stopped thinking and did what I knew was the only thing I could muster. A glint in my eye carried me there as I struggled towards it, falling on the knife clutched in my hand, a forgotten spear in the other. My blooded knuckles cracked around it. My body was limp and hurt but my heart was painless and focused. I was never capable of murder. And I wasn't going to commit to it. But they were. All of them. Only if Jack was there. They reached me but I hauled my spear up right and facing at them, spinning it round as they attempted to manoeuvre around me.
"Drop the spear." Jack said. His eyes seemed strangely calm, his voice cracking.
I didn't drop it, I kept it in my hand, my forearms breaking in the dead silence.
Maurice whipped the spear out of my hand with his, rushing behind me, grabbing me, pulling me, forcing me to stop.
My breath inched away from me as he grasped tight, holding tighter.
"Do you know what were going to do to you?" Roger uttered. His face didn't change. I expected that.
"Yes" that's all the words I could speak, though my mind was screaming with them.
"Then why aren't you running?" Roger smirked, almost laughed when he said that. His laughs were awful, not in any way friendly.
"I know a way to make it easier to run." Roger stepped forward, getting his spear firmly in his hand and scratching my chest with it, I gasped and fell to the sand in pain, my hands slapping the wet ground.
He grabbed my hair and lifted me up, making me face all the boys scared faces. Maurice stepped forward, scrunching my cheeks like a baby, then slapped it hard, I fell down. Not onto the ground but in his arms, backwards, barely breathing as he lifted me up again, knife at the neck.
I pressed my knife that was still unnoticeably clutched tightly in my left hand, pressing into my fingers, blood trickling satisfyingly out of my hand and onto the sand, spilling away into the waves.
My eyes barely opened, Maurice grasped me tighter, kicking his spear away with his foot. I saw the blonde nightmare curl a menacing smile, malevolent and showed no mercy. That boy was mad.
I breathed in, then out. Regaining my consciousness. Then I did it. I pressed my knife against Maurice's skin, dragging it quickly over his collar bone, causing me along with him to drop to the ground. I threw the weapon out of my hand and ran. Ran faster than I ever did, even with the reminder I couldn't, my limbs stung and my whole body shook. I knew where to go and my body took me there.
I jumped in it, the dirt barely escaping my sweated body, sand crumbling off it as I swam beside under the rocks. I ducked low as I hid beneath the rock opening, expecting, hoping, to be alone.
I breathed so intensely. Watching. Listening. My eyes alert and my ears pricked.
I couldn't muster any more tears, I didn't have any left. The pain was still there. Oh god how everything hurt. Yet no tears left my eye.
"Ev."
A grasping over my mouth pulled me into the thing under the water.
Ralph.
My body was against his light stinging body. My body burned against his as if I never touched a human before, I never felt the need to hug him more than this time right here. The desire pained me, his tears stung me, like he cried poison.
"Don't cry anymore Ralph. Don't hurt me anymore."
He cradled me in his warm body, his soft skin embedded in mine, our lips crossed over each other, opening regrettably as the tongue slipped in. His taste was sweet and sour at the same time, it felt like home. The only thing on the island that felt like we were going to make it out of this... this hell alive. How could I not see, between him and that blonde masked devil I was once in love with, that he was the one I've always needed.
"He's coming."
He said, breaking away from the strong fiery desire of dangerous passion.
"I know." Is all I could say.
"Ev." He was breaking down again, his torso and legs emerged in the water, the poison once again running away from his eyes. His face twisted into pain.
"I... I'm not ready to die."
Those words. Like his tears. Pure poison.
I put a hand on his shoulder, my shaking hand on his quivering body. His heart drumming along with the islands deathly orchestra. Loud as anything.
Then I heard them. The thundering of footsteps along the islands haunting grounds.
I could feel them. The screams coming to their breaking peak. The islands final curse burning away, so slowly, yet it felt like it was so quick. Happening all at once. The punctured face of Simon flashes in my mind once more. I would hold back tears even though my body told me no, my body simply couldn't do that. But I did.
I saw it all flash in my head, my brain captured every moment, every haunting moment that occurred on this god forsaken island I would never return to if I got out. That was a doubt. I certainly didn't think we would.