unbroken
Breaking up with Julian wasn't easy. For either of them.
She laid on her side and watched him. He laid on his back and stared up at the ceiling. His body tensed. His thoughts silent.
"I love you."
He took a long moment to repeat it.
"Babe, look at me."
He took another long moment to do what she asked.
"Tell me which part is upsetting you the most? You're afraid of me shattering into million pieces, or you're afraid you will?"
"Both. Can't you see it's easier when it's you and me?"
"Yes. That's why it's gotten so normal to fall back on it. It's easier and safer, but it's not what is meant to be. We've always known that."
"Safe. Easy. Nice. We're good together, babe. You know we are."
"We are, and that will never change. Never." She cupped his face. "Safe. Is not what you should look for in a relationship."
"Safe is good."
"It is, if you never want to touch the stars. I don't want to be scared anymore. I don't want to hide anymore. He's my perfect. If I fail and break all over again, he's worth the chance, and if I don't fail, then I get the stars and the wind. I get epic, and that's what you can have too. You deserve that. I want that for you. I always have. Ever since my dad left, I've been afraid to put myself out there, but not you. You have never been afraid till you had to put me back together again. Babe, don't let me be the thing that holds you back. Don't let me be the thing that stops you from soaring."
"You don't know what you're asking of me. I can't see you that hurt ever again."
"I'm asking you to stand on the edge with me and jump. You know you won't let me do it alone. I jump, you jump."
"That has never done anything but get me in trouble."
"True."
His brown eyes were full of love. "I damn sure won't let you do it alone. Fuck it. What's the worst that could happen?"
Smiling, she hugged him.
"I can't promise it will work, or that I'll survive." He said as he hugged her back as tight as he could.
"I can't either, but I promise that I'll be here. I'll always be here."
He sighed. "I can't believe Hayden came to see you and you didn't deck her. I definitely can't believe we went from there to here, but if you can be brave after everything you've been through, then what kind of sidekick would I be if I stood in your way? You jump, I jump, no sense in changing that after all this time. You believe you belong with him?"
"I do. I know it, Julian. It's a feeling deep down that has never left me, and I bet you have the same feeling inside of you. All you need to do is stop hiding from it."
"I don't know what I feel. Other than screwed."
"Been there. I was too scared to do anything but run. Don't be like me. No more running."
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Where do we start?"
"For starters, you need to move back into your own room. Number one rule is to not court a man with a man already in your bed. The rest is easy. We just throw ourselves at them."
"I don't know if I can do that."
"Okay then, you take the slower approach. Just spend time with him. If I'm right, and I always am, then that's all it's going to take."
"I don't make any promises."
"Just promise to try."
"And if this works for you and not for me?"
"Then I will find you the perfect cheerleader. I'll hand groom her myself. I'll fix you a room so you can get your hour a day without even having to lay eyes on him and I won't leave your side till you don't need me anymore."
"Okay. Let's do this."
"Great, babe." Jess smiled. "Now I need you to help me say thank you to a chick I hate and make sure I don't kill her."
"I can do that if you can tell me how I'm supposed to explain to a dude, who looks like he chews nails for breakfast, that I'm his perfect mate."
"You are perfect, and he's damn lucky to have you. If he can't see that, then he's going to have me to deal with."
