The Act Of Killing Yourself

CHAPTER 1 (Devil's Playground)

APRIL, 8. 2020
11:30 pm

"Just a pull of the trigger and it's all over, elissa." Elissa whispered to herself. It leaned against the wall as a revolver pointed at its mouth.

"I just ... put it in my ...... mouth ... and pull the trigger." Elissa began to shiver while pointing the gun at her mouth. "No chickening out." it added.

Elissa quickly cocked the revolver and closed her eyes firmly.

It slowly turns the trigger, until .........

"No, no..i can't!"

Elissa didn't know what to do anymore. Her brain is too confused by what is happening. She immediately threw the revolver and dropped her body on her bed. As she lay down, she released tears incessantly. Only the girl's sobbing and her tears were hiding in her room that only the wall and the ceiling could hear.

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APRIL, 9. 2020
2:45 pm

"Elissa martinez, are you listening?"

Elissa suddenly returned to her senses when her teacher approached her. Earlier it was because she was stunned that it seemed so deep in thought.

Umayos siya ng upo at yumuko ng bahagya. Tila hindi siya makatingin sa kaniyang guro.

"May problema ba, elissa?"

Kahit nagaalinlangan ay lumapit si Mrs. Vega kay elissa. Napapansin niya rin na nitong mga nakaraang araw ay hindi na nagiging aktibo sa klase si elissa. Napaka-talino at napaka-masayahin nitong bata kaya hindi niya mawari kung bakit bigla na lang itong nagbago.

The girl looked slightly at her. A meaningful look. Imagine that you can feel the pain just by looking into her eyes.

"I'm okay, ma'am. I'm sorry for not paying attention. Pagod lang po." Saad nito sabay yuko.

Gusto mang itanong ng guro ang problema ng kaniyang estudyante ay hindi niya na lang ito pinakialaman. Baka personal problem ito at ayaw niya naman mangialam.

"Kung may problema ka, feel free to approach me. I'm your teacher and your second mother here in school, so if you have any problem, tell me, okay?"

Tumango lang si elissa sa kaniya at umayos ng upo. Hindi pa rin mapigilan magalala ng guro dahil kakaiba ang aura ng kaniyang estudyante. Ang bigat.

"Okay let's go back to the lesson. Nasaan na nga tayo?"

Bumalik na ang guro sa harap at inumpisahan na ang pagdidiscuss.

Habang si elissa ay wala pa rin sa kaniyang wisyo. Paulit ulit na bumabalik sa kaniya ang nakaraan.

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"Pagod na ako. Nawawalan na ako ng gana sa relasyon natin. Sa mga panahon na nawawalan ako ng gana ay si cheska lang ang nasa tabi ko. Hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan na nahuhulog na ako sa kaniya."

Isang malakas na sampal ang natanggap ni jake.

Galit. Puot. Sakit. Pagkasuklam ang naramdaman ni elissa nang marinig ang mga salitang iyon galing sa taong akala niya ay iba sa lahat. Ngunit lahat ng iyon ay akala lang.

"Why did you just it say now? Kung kailan mag-dadalawang taon na itong relasyon natin? After all this time jake I didn't give up on you even though I couldn't understand you anymore. I gave you everything, didn't I? I fought you with my parents. Even my friends that you're jealous of. I can't even do what I used to do because you want me to update you. Why Jake? Why? "