Ashton didn’t climb into bed with me and apologize like I thought he would.
He slept alone.
And so did I.
It’s 6:00am and I lye awake in bed just listening to Ashton’s movements. He’s getting ready to leave.
I hear him walk into the bathroom and shut the door, the shower turns on.
Maybe it’s better if I weren’t here when he gets out.
Maybe I’ll go downstairs and grab breakfast.
Yea, I’ll do that.
I get up, grab my sweater off the chair and throw it on. It smells like Ashton and that isn’t helping me deal with things right now.
I take a deep breath, throw my hair up and walk out the door. But not before the thought of jumping in the shower with Ashton crosses my mind.
The hallway is quite quiet this early. Just a few elderly couples and some children roaming the halls. I find my way to the breakfast bar and I see Calum immediately.
Hm...
He’s waiting for his bagel to pop out of the toaster when he looks up and smiles at me. He gestures towards himself and I walk over to him.
“Good morning,” He smiles brightly and hands me his bottle of orange juice.
“Is this yours?” I ask, taking it from him.
“Yea, I didn’t drink from it.” He nods at me. “You take it. It’s the last one.”
Aw.
“Thanks,” I smile to myself.
“So, what’re you doing up so early?” He puts his bagel on his plate and
“Couldn’t go back to bed…” I shrug. “What about you?”
“Gotta leave early,” He says and collects his food. Calum places his hand on the small of my back and nods towards an empty table, gesture for me to walk to it. I choose not to react to his small physical gesture and sit down at the table.
“That’s right.” I say and take a sip of orange juice.
“So how’s Ashton?” Cal asks sitting down. “He was really worried about you last night."
“Yea…” I sigh. Maybe a little too worried. “I don’t know how he is…”
“Oh… I’m sorry.” Calum says softly. “Well if you ever need a friend,” He places his hand on top of mine. “You can always talk to me."
I hope he can’t feel the goosebumps along my skin.
And they’re not the good goosebumps.
They're nervous ones.
Uncomfortable ones.
Ugh.
“Yea, thank you.” I smile softly at him.
Please move your hand.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I say. Then, Calum gets a strange look on his face and immediately, I know what’s behind me. I move my hand from Calums. I get up, with my head down, and walk straight out of the breakfast bar.
“Evleyn,” Ashton calls me before I leave down the hall.
I don’t want to talk to him right now but he’s too fast.
I don’t make it far by the time he grabs my hand and turns me around.
“What?” I ask, snatching my arm away from him.
Ashton looks hurt. Tired. I bet I look tired too.
“I’m sorry.” He says softly, his voice as soft as it can be.
How am I suppose to stay mad when he says things like that?
Ugh.
“For what…” I try and play the stupid card.
“Everything,” He sighs and takes a step closer.
Please. Don’t come any closer. I’ll cry, and kiss you, and break down. Stay over there. Keep your distance.
His hand slowly brushes my cheek.
Fuck.
How does he have this affect on me?
I just wanna be mad right now.
“Don’t do that.” I say shaking my head.
And he smiles.
He fucking smiles.
God Dammit.
“Do what?” He knows what he’s doing.
“Ashton I’m not ready to be okay yet…” I say and his expression changes. He nods.
“Okay,” He says “Okay.” He repeats and takes a step closer to me.
Then those three little words slip out of his mouth.
“I love you.”
I sigh.
“I know,” I say and he plants the sweetest, softest kiss on my forehead.
“You know I have to go again this morning.” He whispers and I nod.
“I’ll be back tonight.” He says looking down at me.
He takes a deep breath and then says “Please, please tell me if you ever leave the hotel, Evelyn.” Ash begs and I make a face at him. “Please.” He says softly "To keep sane, I beg you.” He continues and I agree.
And I know that when he comes back to me I won’t be upset anymore.
I never want to have to sleep alone ever again.
