Squipped | Be More Chill

Sexy

Jeremy

"So? Plan?" 

"Huh?"

Michael and I are in our dorm room. It's sort of customary for whoever wakes up first to wake up the other one, even though it's 6AM on a weekend. I just need to know the plan for winter break. 

"The plan," I repeat, still sitting on Michael's bed. I think I'm on his legs, but whatever. It's payback. "Do you still want to come visit Christine with me?" 

He sighs and pauses for a while, probably thinking about how I already told his mothers he was probably coming along, so they're no longer expecting him. Then finally: "Why not?" 

"Awesome!" I stand up, arms in the air. "I'd like to not take the plane by myself. We should get you packed." But then I look toward him, discouraged. "I don't wanna put pressure on you, Michael. You don't have to come if you don't want to." 

"Nahh, it'll be fun." He jumps out of bed and helps me pull his suitcase out of the closet, which I've already started doing. 

"I think so, too! Hey, I heard something from Christine who heard from Jenna that Brooke and Chloe might be coming... I should check what their final plans are." 

Michael smiles. "This is nice... planning trips." 

I nod. "Paying with my own money... mostly." 

"Did you have a second bar mitzvah or something? Plane tickets are expensive." 

"No, a job." I reach for his favourite hoodie. 

My friend snatches it. "I want to wear it on the plane." 

"Makes sense," I reply, then go to pick through my own clothes and plan a travel-day outfit. We're a week from actual travel day, but it's okay, because I got a ticket for Michael beforehand. 

"Can I go home for spring break?" Michael asks me. "Please?" 

I laugh. "I'll think about it." 

He looks nervous. 

"I'm joking!" 

"I knew that," he argues, continuing to pack his suitcase. Because I'm a good friend, I help him. 

-

"Plan?" I ask Brooke during our next phone call. 

"What?" 

I sigh. "Are you and Chloe coming after all? You know, for winter vacation?" 

"Oh. She didn't want to. I did," she assures me quickly. "Just... Chloe said no." 

"Doesn't she always make the decisions?" I question. I'm not saying their relationship is unhealthy, but I know Chloe. 

"Yeah." Brooke laughs. "She's a little controlling. But I love her, so..." 

"M'kay. Well, I think you guys should have a discussion about that." 

"Maybe we should." She sounds positive across the line, so I have trust. It's just that no healthy relationship should have a member described as "controlling". Even if it's a little. 

My ex-girlfriend pipes up again. "All right, Jeremy, I've gotta go," she says quietly, apologetically. 

"No problem. See you another time. Spring break, probably. I'm going to visit my dad at home..." My heart hurts because I remember how much I miss my dad, "and so I'll be in town." 

"Sure. See you then!" 

"Bye." 

Jenna

Sean comes up to me after class later in December. That's weird, we never talk. Then a little light suddenly goes off in my brain. He probably wants to get closer to Christine. Oh, they'd be cool together, but I kinda hardcore ship her with Jeremy, and they're actually canon, so... man, this is awkward. 

"Hello? Jenna?" Sean is speaking. 

Oh, I zoned out around when the light went off. I snap back to the conversation. "Sorry, what did you say?" 

"I was just saying hello." He leans against the wall coolly. "You look sexy." 

I'm very confused. "Okay... you, too, I guess?" For a guy that I'd never be into, he does look nice in his light grey sweater. And hey, it's not like he was hitting on me. He was probably just complimenting me. 

Christine comes in the middle of our conversation. "Hey, you guys!"

"Hi," I greet her, "this is Sean. Sean, this—oh, yeah, you guys know." 

"Hey, so how did you know my name?" my roommate asks Sean. 

"Jenna told me," he shrugs. "The same way she told you my name." 

Christine flushes, and I know it's because she remembers practically begging me for his name. But I doubt Sean knows she did. And hey, if she doesn't want to fuck him, why does she seem so embarrassed?

I meet Christine back in the dorm room after she's done hanging out with Sean... alone. Ooh, what if she's cheating? 

"That was weird," I say almost as soon as she comes in. 

"...What? I mean, I know I was embarrassed, but that's not very nice," my roommate comments crossly. 

"No, not you. I mean how Sean called me sexy before you came. We were saying hi and he just said," I try to imitate his deep voice, "'you look sexy'." 

"Ugh, I wish a guy would call me sexy." Christine seems too invested in her fantasy to be jealous. Or maybe it's true that she doesn't want anything more than to be Sean's friend. 

"What about Jeremy? He's called you sexy a ton," I point out. 

She looks at me. "Not to my face." 

"Oh." 

Jeremy

A few days later, Michael is in the bathroom, so I'm finishing up the packing of his suitcase for him. We're almost about to leave, for Christ's sake. I know my best friend super well, so I'll know what he wants to bring. 

I find a black notebook. It looks kind of mysterious, so I open it (definitely nothing I haven't seen before, so Michael won't mind). 

Okay, maybe it is something I haven't seen before. What is this? Two Sides: An Angsty Poem by Michael Mell. 

Before I can even close the notebook, Michael is back from the bathroom, in our doorway. 

"Oh, my God," he says gravely, but maybe a little panicked. "Don't read that."