Dirt the protogen woke up from an epic nap. "Good morning my wonderful wife" he said to a potted cactus on his night stand. And then he stroked it lovingly. The cactus did not respond.
"Not very talkative today? Ah well that's fine, I understand."
Dirt said and patted his wifey cactus again, then got out of bed to go drink coffee.
The protogen strolled out to the kitchen and tried to avoid his 11 children.
"Ouchie wouchie" his oldest child, Hydrochlorothiazide, cried as his second oldest child, Aspirin, stabbed him with a spoon. "Fuck you! Give me the toaster back!" Aspirin screeched and she stabbed Hydrochlorothiazide again. "Children stop fighting now!" Dirt smacked Aspirin and Hydrochlorothiazide.
"Dadda, Pepto bismol shat in his diaper." Tylenol said, weeping as he held up the toddler with a stanky ass diaper. "Oh for fucks sake." Dirt groaned, picking up his youngest child, Pepto bismol, and ripping off his diaper. "See you later stinky." He threw Pepto bismol out the window and then threw the nasty diaper at some random one of his children's faces
"I haven't even gotten to drink my diet coffee yet." Dirt shoved a child out of his way, and that child accidentally burnt her hand on the coffee kettle thing. "AAHHHHHHHHHHH" she screeched. "GOD, Vicodin! Stop being so goddamn loud! The poor neighbours!" Lipitor complained, kicking Vicodin in the balls.
"ooOoCcCchHhHhh" Vicodin cried, holding her crotch. "Hahahah loser" their 10 year old brother Ibuprofen yelled and did a fortnite dance over Vicodin who was on the floor sobbing.
YOU ARE READING
Dirt's Bizarre Adventure
Storie d'amoreAn epic story Children names in order [youngest to oldest] this is just so I can remember 1. Hydrochlorothiazide (male) 17 years old 2. Aspirin (female) 17 years old 3. Lipitor (female) 16 years old 4. Melatonin (female) 15 years old 5. Amoxicilli...
