■3rd Person POV■
Matsukawa and Y/N are walking together, one meter gap between the two. Matsukawa looks up at the apartment building in front of them and walks inside following a slightly bit behind Y/N.
Y/N pulls out her keys and unlocks the door, she walks inside and Matsukawa waits for her to let him in.
Y/N: um... please come in...
Matsukawa sits on the sofa, watching as Y/N moves in the kitchen, making tea for the two of them. How much Matsukawa miss seeing her look less uncomfortable around him.
Y/N places the tea on the table and then sits next to Matsukawa. The two are quiet for a while until their eyes met and Y/N averts her gaze down.
Matsukawa gulps down the nothingness inside his throat and speaks.
Matsukawa: Y/N... please... listen to me... I'm not trying to justify what I did... none of it could be justified... I just want you to listen...
Y/N listens to Matsukawa and looks up at him. He is staring into her eyes and Y/N could see the conflict in his eyes. Guilty and all, longing, she somehow could see them all.
Matsukawa: I met her at my workplace, we held a funeral for her friend eight months ago... I was just trying to console her at first but then she asked for my number and we exchanged...
Y/N clenches her skirt as she listens to him, starting to avoid his eyes because it brings back bad memories to her.
Matsukawa tells her how they ended up seeing each other and how Matsukawa thought his heart wavers. He apologizes for seeing Mayuki behind Y/N's back.
Matsukawa: but... after two months seeing her, I still couldn't tell you... because something preventing me from letting you know... it's fear...
Y/N's breathing hitches and Matsukawa sees this. His eyes soften as she looks at the woman in front of him.
Matsukawa: the fear of losing you... I don't realize it at the time but.. what I have for her was merely my stupid physical urge... I fell for her seduction and... hurt you.. I'm sorry Y/N...
Matsukawa lowers his head and Y/N flinches seeing this.
Matsukawa: I'm sorry... though I was physically attached to her... I don't want to lose you... I'm an asshole I'm sorry...
Y/N clenches her hands on her lap, her heart is throbbing.
Matsukawa: sorry for being unfair to you and... can't comply with your request for not explaining things to you... I'm sorry....
Matsukawa looks up and stares at Y/N who's staring at her lap.
Matsukawa: I'm sorry... for seeing you on the train and... ended up showing myself in front of you... I'm sorry...
Y/N's body is trembling by now, chest feels tight.
Matsukawa: I'm sorry... for daring to keep my feeling for you and wanting to say it... I... love you...
Y/N looks up at Matsukawa and his eyes widened. Y/N's face is drenched with tears, Matsukawa can see the pain in her eyes.
Y/N: I... was hurt...
■Matsukawa's POV■
Y/N's body trembles, her teary eyes stare into mine, showing me the pain she keeps in her.
Matsukawa: Y/N...
Y/N: I'm mad at you... I should have hated you... but I'm madder at myself... for not being able to forget about my feelings for you...
YOU ARE READING
Ｔｈｅ Ｏｎｅ Ｔｈａｔ Ｉ Ｌｅｔ Ｇｏ (Matsukawa X Reader)
FanficHe doesn't know when it all started. His feelings for her wavers. She smiles and sends says sweet things to him, stating how she loves him without knowing that he's absolutely being unfair right now. Keeping her tied to him while he's clearly enjoyi...
