Trigger Warning - Abortion
It wasn't planned by any means. If anyone was asking. I mean who would plan to have something as big as this happen to them when they are 18. I mean when you are 18 you are just starting in the world. You are trying to figure out what you are doing in your life and something like this is not something that I think anyone would plan for. I mean looking after another life. Looking after a baby. Having a baby. Having a person look up to you as their guidance. That is terrifying. At 18 that is even more terrifying. But you have gotten yourself into this mess. Means that you have to take responsibility.
You are Cedric had never planned for something like this anytime soon. With him almost dying in the triwizard tournament your relationship had been put into a new perspective. You both wanted to spend time with each other. To take the time to enjoy life. To just live life like everyday is going to be your last. To enjoy it without being stressed. You had both agreed that kids and marriage was something that you wanted to put off for a few years. It was purely because you both weren't ready for it. Emotionally or financially. With Cedric just starting at the ministry and you working at a bookshop in diagon alley you both weren't ready. I mean the pay was okay but not enough to support a baby. The plan was to save the money to go travelling. Do everything you wanted to do and then start your family but here you were. Looking down at the pregnancy test with the word PREGNANT beaming at you. Guess you can't plan things right.
When you and Cedric had sex you were always safe. But the only time you weren't safe was when you both got too drunk one night at a party and clearly were too drunk to even care for a condom. Which brought you to this point. A drunken mistake. If that is even okay to say. I mean yes a baby is a beautiful thing. But that is only when it is something that you wanted. Something that you were planning on doing in that time period but not when you are 18 newly out of school. Just getting your first apartment. Starting new jobs. That's when it causes stress.
You could say that telling Cedric wasn't something that was easy. And I know that sounds like I'm saying that you told him. Because you did. After about 3 weeks when he was the one who brought up the fact that there was something different about you.
"What's wrong with you?" he asks one evening when you are sitting down on the couch watching tv. Looking up at him you knew that there was no way of avoiding it. With tears at the brink of your eyes you sigh.
"I'm pregnant" you say sobbing and putting your head in your knees. You don't know how long everything had stopped for. All you know is that Cedric wraps his arms around you and kisses your head. "It's going to be okay" is all he says and you lie there for the rest of the night letting it sink in.
The next morning when you woke up you were surprised to see Cedric there. He should be at work and today was your day off. "Why aren't you at work? '' you ask him. He sighs, tightening his arms around you. "Because I called in telling them that there was a family emergency and that I need a few days off," he informs you. You nod your head looking up at him. "How do you feel about this?" you ask him. He kisses your head. "I'm still trying to process it. But I'll stand by you through whatever you decide".
The next day you went to the doctor. It was all pretty normal. They looked at the baby and told you how far along you were and so forth. Turned out you were 5 weeks along.
Lying in bed later that evening everything was just quiet. You and Cedric had not said much to each other since you had come home. You went to bed and he stayed out in the sitting room. You both didn't know what to say or how to feel. It was so overwhelming. You knew that you couldn't bring a baby into this world. Not now at least. With Voldemort having returned. You knew that it was only a matter of time before things got worse then they already were.
Sighing. You walk to the sitting room and look at Cedric who was sitting on the couch. With tears going down your face you say those words to him. "I want an abortion". He nods his head at you and you fall into his arms sobbing. "Please don't hate me" you cry and he shakes his head. "Don't be. It's your body. We're not ready and we both know that. And I know we both aren't strong enough to go through with an adoption" he says. You nod your head agreeing. "Don't resent me Ced. Please don't resent me" you plead and he sobs too. "I never could," he said, holding you tighter.
The next week Cedric holds your hand as you have the procedure done. It was heartbreaking for the both of you but you knew that if the timing was different if everything that was going on hadn't been then the situation would have been different. But it wasn't fair for you to bring a baby into this world.
There are so many different opinions of abortion. So agree with it and some disagree with it and see it as murder. But I think that it is their body. That they can decide what they want to do with their body. But for me also. Why would you want to bring a child into this world. When there is so much shit that is going on. And if you know deep down that the child isnt going to have a good life then save it the pain and give it peace. It may be heartbreaking but even though it might be hard to see. It is the right thing to do. And that decision is going to be with you for the rest of your life and you will never forget it but it shows what strength that you have.
Cedric and you were able to get through the abortion. Be able to come to peace with it. With a little bit of help from a professional and a lot of support from each other you were able to see that what you did was justifiable.
