I run my hands down the black dress that I am wearing. Looking at myself in the mirror I feel nothing. I don't have a feeling towards the dress of how i look at all, i simply do not care anymore. There isn't a reason to live anymore. Not without Fred. My life has been hell since he has died. I have lost the reason to go on with my life. It has only been a week and a half since his death and it has already felt like a lifetime. I am a widow now. I lost my husband. My reason for going on. And I know I don't care about anything else in the world.
A knock on the door pulls me out of the trance that I was in. The door opens and I see Ginny standing there with a sad look on her face. "We are going soon," she informs me. I look at her in the mirror and give her a nod. She looks down at the floor not knowing what to say next. "I'll be down in a minute," I replied. Another nod and she is gone. I sigh, lifting my head up to stop the tears from falling. I had to get through the ceremony without crying and then I could come home, get into bed and fall asleep in the sheets. The sheets that smell of Fred.
Walking down the stairs I see all of our friends and family standing there ready to leave. I could feel their eyes on me. The widow. It made me angry. I didn't want a stupid title. I wanted my husband. As I reach the bottom of the stairs George walks towards me. He was the only one who knew the hurt that I was feeling. "We are ready to go," he tells me. I nod at him, taking his arm and we walk out of the house with everyone behind us.
"Fred Weasley was the love of my life", standing there looking at all of the people gathered to celebrate my husband. "I met him in my first year at hogwarts. My first thoughts of him was that he was a cheeky bastard, as well as his brother. Most of the pranks that they pulled were funny but I had to admit some of them were a bit mean, but they knew their mistakes and learned from them. Most people find it hard to tell between the two of them. Some ask me why it was Fred I fell for. I feel for my husband because he understood me. I understood him. He used to be able to look into my soul, understand everything that I was feeling and know how to make me feel better. He knew when I needed to laugh, a shoulder to cry on. He was my person. He will always be my person.
Marrying him was just the beginning of our story. You see me and Fred wanted to have this farm in the middle of nowhere. Have a herd of children and live our days there. But clearly that isnt what is going to happen" I stop and catch my breath holding in the tears. I swallow and continue. "I will always love my husband. He will live in us all. We will remember his laugh, his jokes... his love. Fred Weasley will forever live ''I cry. I put my hand over my mouth and ran out of the building.
I stare at the ceiling for I don't know how long. Hours turn into days and days turn into weeks. I only get up to go to the toilet and then I am back in bed. People come to visit but it is only to make sure that I am alive. That i have washed, eaten, drank, mainly because i don't remember when was the last time i did those things. Time just isn't the same anymore. All I am doing is surviving, not living. There isn't a reason to live anymore.
Lifting the toilet seat up I heaved for the 3rd time that morning. At this point I am just dry heaving, nothing is exciting my body. It felt horrible. George looks at me from the doorway.
"I think you need to go to the doctor," he tells me. I glared at him and shook my head.
"I don't need to go anywhere George. I'm fine. Just sick ''I inform him walking past him and getting back into bed.
"Y/N please. Just get out of bed, brush your hair, shower, put on some new clothes and let me take you to the doctor" he pleads. I just wrap the covers around me more and close my eyes.
"I'm too tired right now George. Just leave me... please".
A few hours later I woke up. I see George sitting in the seat in the corner of the room. He sighs when he sees me awake. "Thank god you are awake", standing up he walks towards the door and opens it and motions for someone to come in. In comes a doctor and I groan. "George please" I groan. He shakes his head at me.
"You are getting checked out, I'm not taking no for an answer and I'm not wasting Dr. Robin's time" he firmly tells me. Sighing I lift myself up and allow the doctor to examine me.
After taking some tests the doctor looks at me with a slight smile on his face. "Congratulations Mrs Weasley. You are pregnant".
I pulled myself out of the gutter that day. I showered, brushed my teeth, and did my hair. I cleaned the house and made it spotless. I started to get things ready for the baby, and started seeing my friends again. I had found a purpose. This was Freds way of letting me know that he will always be with me. Maybe not directly but he was always going to be there for me, just in another form.
Holding my two children in my arms I smile at both of them. Fred and Sybil. Both my angels. Both looked like Fred in so many ways. Sybil had a little more me in her but she still had so much Weasley in her.
"You know Fred is here right now" George tells me as he looks at his niece and nephew. I turn my head to him and nod.
"I know he is always with us Georgie", I look back at my children and kiss their heads. This was the day that I started to live again.
