i'd rather die.

𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖛𝖊

| A/N - i'm not dead hdisnahauahs thanku for 8k reads what the fuuuuckkkk bro and i have to say i apologise in advance for this chapter it's all over the place looool |

happy reading losers <3
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- 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚 -
- 𝙬𝙧𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 -

Five days.

Five days since I had been able to memorise the curves of her face; count the marks on her skin.

Five days of silence.

Five days of self hatred and remorse and regret.

Why did I miss her laugh?

Although it was far too rare, it filled me with something irritating and honestly concerning to know that I had been the cause of it.

I missed how terribly she hid her smirk when I teased her constantly.

Even though every bone in my body was compelled to hate the sarcastic waste of space, it became quite obvious I had retained an undeniable.. sentiment.

I love her.

Had I not made it obvious enough?

I admit the complete denial of caring for her, in addition to the multiple threats upon her life may not have been a traditional or blatant profession of love, however she had responded to them in confusing ways.

She had broken down every single one of my supposedly unbreakable walls, without fail.

How?

How was I supposed to remain composed when she was right there?

Stood there, in her pretty green dresses; swaying her hips and batting her eyelashes - she was infuriating.

I knew she chose those goddamn green dresses on purpose, though I couldn't help crafting them for her myself - I couldn't imagine her in any other colour.

And her lips - like those of a goddesses; they had tasted like cherry and they fitted so perfectly to mine.

Holy fuck, she was a good kisser.

I lifted my thumb to brush the chapped skin of my own lips, just over where hers had laid - I could feel them still there, ghosting with a radiating warmth against mine, the buzz everlasting.

Even I was shocked by my lack of control that night - but there she was - trapped beneath me; breathless and so fucking beautiful, with her lips parted and her pupils blown; her hair circling her head like a halo.

I remembered the soft skin of her neck against my teeth; her body quivering and her words unintelligible as I marked her.

I had nearly lost it as she had tousled her digits through my hair; tugging it against her will.

How badly I wanted to touch her, memorise every detail; each flaw and every scar.

I could feel the familiar warmth dance its way through my body; she was nowhere near me yet just one thought of her could rattle my heart against its cage and bring me to my knees.

Okay, bringing me to my knees was a little far - she didn't have me wrapped around her finger that tightly.

Though that stunt she had pulled with her dagger had got me thinking.