Meri Aashiqui tumse hi

Chapter 7

*Adarsh ki Adalat*

"No" I say in inaudible voice.

"What?" J asks more because my voice doesn't reach his ears.

"No" I shout loud enough to wake my Mom.

"But why?" he looks appalled as to why a girl who worshiped me all her life would refuse my offering he must have wondered.

"Not until you tell me why you feel the need to ask me this question in first place" I say crossing my arms.

"I am sorry but I don't quiet understand you" he looks at me puzzled.

"Why did you leave me J?" I try hard to note any changes on his facial expression in dim moonlight

"Why did you asked me to never talk to you or come anywhere near you that night, remember?" The effect is instantaneous. His face becomes rigid, his facial muscles tout like strings of bow, his nose flares as his jaw clenches.

"It's past, Manali. Let's just leave it behind" He says after a beat but in stern voice.

"I can...but can you?" I want to know.

He looks at me with such painful eyes that it takes every effort in my body to refrain myself from leaving my tough pretense and hugging him tight.

"What is it that you can't tell me?" I ask in soft voice. He hangs his head low..I take a step closer towards him taking his hand in mine.

"You can trust me, you know"

He nods "I know I can but..I'm not sure you'll understand" He says in wounded voice.

"Well then try me" I persuade him.

His looks away, his eyes playing in his eyeballs. It is clear he is struggling with himself like weighing pros and cons. He then lets out a sigh and I know what he is about to say

"I'm sorry...I can't" he breaths out.

"Jimmy.." I begin but he withdraws his hand with sudden jolt.

"Don't you ever call me that!" He shoots at me. I'm taken aback by his reaction.

But then his face softens and I see all the agony surfacing back on it and I realise for the first time that maybe...maybe he has suffered more than me all this years. His eyes shine like marbles as he takes a step backwards..

And before I can fathom what is happening he says "I respect your decision. I will take care not to cross your path in future" he swiftly jumps out of window.

I want to stop him, hug him, tell him that it will be okay but he leaves like sand leaves your fist.

I stand by window and watch his retreating back, his messed up hair bounce slightly as he walks dusting off his hands and I instantly regret my decision.

~~

"What!"

Komal yells on phone in voice loud enough to damage my inner ear.

"I said I can't be friends with him unless he comes clear of his past" I repeat more to myself.

"But..but.." Komal is lost for words(something very rare)

"You did the right thing Manali" It's Bobby.

We are having our Saturday afternoon threeway chat.

"You are not some soccer net that he comes and scores whenever he likes. Till now he had played the game by his rules. It's time he play by yours." says Bob supporting me. She is my strongest anchor.