Not as planned 1 - Katsuki Bakugo

Chapter 102

Summary

A summary of the next weeks.

TW: Self harm

The next couple of weeks were kinda monotonous for Katsuki, it was day in and day out the same, he woke up, ate the same shitty breakfast every day, went to school, got the damn day over, went to detention, went to the therapist, got back, ate dinner, took care of his homework and went to bed. He really didn't have the energy to do something else.

He was still really damn good in school, his grades even improved, his training got so much better with the new focus. But it wasn't fun for him anymore. Hero work was just that, work.

With Midoriya gone, he had no rival any longer. No one he could really compete with. Denki wasn't nearly as strong as Deku had been. Denki, Hanta and Kyoka were the only ones from the 'Bakusquad' that were left.

Eijiro talked only with him during training or for other school related things, and only if he absolutely had to. Mina was with Eijiro most of the time, and so was Ochako, but she was more open to talk with Katsuki than the other two. With the rest of the extras, he didn't have much contact to begin with.

In the beginning he went to therapy every second day. At first he didn't want to talk to the woman, but after a while it broke out of him.

He told her, how he had fucked up, how he was a shitty omega, how he made all the wrong decisions, how Kirishima hated him now, how Deku probably hated him. That he had nightmares about his last night with Deku, and that he couldn't stand it, to see Kirishima. That he wanted to break out in tears, when he saw him talking to other people in his usually friendly way.

Kirishima was perfectly friendly and energetic towards the others. He smiled a lot around Mina and Ochako. Even with Denki and Hanta and Kyoka, he was perfectly friendly. Only Katsuki was the fifth wheel. Whenever Kirishima's eyes met his, his gaze was cold.

He told her, how much it hurt. How guilty he felt. He wanted to make it right, but every attempt was for naught. Kirishima refused to talk to him, outside of classes, and he had to remind himself, that it was his fault, and that Kirishima needed time too.

He wanted to cry, every time he saw the wide and friendly smile of the red head, because he knew that it was for someone else.

Denki tried his darn best to cheer him up, but it just wouldn't work.

Denki was going through a lot himself. He had finally gotten the okay, to start with the hormones, and sometimes, his weird, new scent was all over the place. He was sometimes jumpy, sometimes absolutely cuddly and sometimes he hissed at everyone that came too close to him. But still he had himself better under control than Katsuki.

Occasionally, the therapist would ask him about his progress with Inko Midoriya. She had refused to talk to him too, after the talk in the common room. Katsuki told her, that he just couldn't do it. He had really tried to, but he chickened out at the last second. He couldn't look her in the face.

All those weeks, there was no sign of Deku what so ever. He was just gone. He didn't call his mother, he didn't even contacted All Might. Everyone avoided talking about Deku and they would shoot Katsuki dirty looks, any time he tried to start a conversation about him. So he eventually just didn't say anything about him any more.

The therapist had him write a diary, or some stupid shit like that. He should document all his emotions and thoughts that would go through his head during the day. He did it, if not begrudgingly.

The second therapist was a special counselor for his omega. He needed to get his omega under control too. The man was very friendly to him, but he sometimes would ask hard to answer questions. Katsuki should describe in detail how his omega felt about Kirishima and Deku, and then he should separate his omega feelings from his own feelings.