𝕓𝕠𝕪𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 (A+A)

happier

Alexa play Happier by Olivia Rodrigo
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ACES POV
I walk into the house, bright and early as Mama invited us for lunch. I lived around 20 minutes away, alone and I guess happy. I didn't really figure that part out yet.

"buongiorno famiglia" I announce as I walk into the kitchen where the whole family sits and stands at the island.

Mama and Roman stood by the stove talking and Mama mixed something occasionally giving him a taste. My other brothers sat around the table, 2 brothers were on their phones and Kai was talking to Sana.

"Ciao figlio mio, vieni a mangiare è quasi pronto" Papa says to me as walks toward me pulling me into a hug. "Ciao papa" I greet him hugging him back. "Ciao figlio," Mama yells waving her hand to me. I wave back and sit on the island table with all my siblings.

I sat between Kai and Sana, that being the only seat available. "What's up?" Kai says to me putting his hand out. I slap his hand in greeting and then turn to Leo who's still on his phone. "Hello to you too big brother," I laugh as he doesn't even give me a glance of acknowledgment.

"Yeah whatever, hey," he says putting his hand up for a split second. I scoff turning my head down to Sana whos colouring. It looked like she was colouring a mermaid in water, but all the colours were off. The water was purple and the lady's skin was pink.

"Princess, why is the water purple," I ask her pointing to all the purple on her page. "Because I want it to be purple," she answers also not giving me a glance. She continues colouring with her crayons so I turn away to Kai who actually spoke to me.

"Why is everyone ignoring me?" I ask him. He looks up at me and shrugs. "I have no idea?" he says breaking off a piece of the bread he magically got and handing it to me. "Bread," he simply says shoving his piece in his mouth. "I can see that," I laugh shoving my piece in my mouth too.

"Bambi can you help me," I hear Sanas small voice call out and her tiny finger pokes my arm. I almost don't feel her finger as it was so small and gentle compared to my arm.

"Yes princess of course," I say turning my body towards her. "What that?" she asks pointing to something that in fact I also couldn't make out. It was a single blob in the sky and it was very oddly shaped. "It's a cloud," I say hoping she would accept that random answer. She nods grabbing a white crayon and starts colouring in the blob. White on white.

"Ace honey tell me again that you wouldn't be a good father," Mama says as she sets a big bowl of sauce in front of me. "No mama I wouldn't," I sigh telling her the same answer I told her my whole life.

I always told her I wasn't destined to have love or to create a child that was to be mine. I know that was such a weird way to describe it but I really couldn't do it any other way, I Ace Ferrari was not cut out to be loved.

But now... I feel like I am. Miss Aria Amos came into my life in the most unexpected way and I couldn't be happier. 

She made me feel things I didn't know were possible to feel. I didn't know in what way to describe it or how to name it because I never felt it before. Is this immense feeling of happiness love? Was it a crush? I didn't know what degree love or a crush was because I never wanted to feel those things and I never allowed myself to feel those things.

Dante had explained it to me that the love you feel for family was way different then the feeling you feel for someone you romantically love. It was deeper and could crush you like a thousand rocks.

I guess because you had to make an attempt to keep them around whereas family would always be there no matter what.

Either way, I loved, love Aria Amos and I don't think I'll ever stop.