Falling Down (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 8

Have you ever had thoughts so disturbing that even you find them unsettling. Now granted they are just thoughts and you would never act on them in a million years. Thoughts of a much deeper darker part of your soul. I never use to or at least they were on a smaller scale. I guess it's just yet another way that surviving in this world is changing me.

All it took was the sound of her voice and the images began to flow one after another. I could see myself punching her smug face. Knocking her to the ground as I laughed. Pushing her into walkers. Leaving her behind as walker bait. All kinds of thoughts that weren't me. Perhaps that same aggression that laid between Rick and Shane also lived within me. Maybe I was just done being pushed around

"Lori," I turned smiling at her as if I was meeting an old friend I had not seen in years. "I was so hoping you would be the first person I saw. It was so thoughtful of you to come and welcome me back."

Lori curled up her face in a knot, "What?"

"Rick and the others not only brought me back but they asked me to come." I widened my smile.

Lori's face was contorted and ugly as she was clearly unable to hide her hatred of me. "You lie!"

I don't know what took over me but I seemed to feed off Lori. I began to walk slowly towards her until we were standing face to face. "Watch your back Princes the carpet is about to be yanked from under your feet. I'm about to show you how the game is played." Leaning in slightly my laugh was maniacal, "Rick or Shane its a hard choice isn't it."

With that I made sure our shoulders collided hard as I walked past her and out of my cell. Holding my head high I couldn't help but laugh as I walked down the hall towards the stairs. Like I said I had no idea what came over me. Never in a million years would I imagine myself capable of intimidation.

I had just reached the top of the stairs as Carol emerged from the cafeteria doors. "Well if the rumour mill didn't get something right for a change. Get down here so I can give you a hug."

God it felt good to see Carol again as I rushed towards her embrace. For a smaller framed woman she hugged you like a bear squeezing the air out of me. Caught up in the emotion tears began to prick at my eyes.

Pulling back slightly Carol made me turn in a circle so she could see with her own two eyes that I was ok. Cupping my face in her hands she slowly ran her finger across my scar. "What happened here?"

"It's a long storey but I'm ok." Pulling Carol back in my arms I tried to change the subject. "It's so good to see you. I missed you."

"I missed you too. I can't believe your home where you belong," I could here the relief in Carols voice. The assurance that she had assumed I was staying for good. "You will have plenty of time to tell me what's gone on. For now let's get some food and water in you."

A good friend would have clarified the misunderstanding right then and there rather that let her hopes build. That there was a very real possibility that this was temporary. In a month or so depending on how long restocking and training took that I then had another decision to make....to stay or go. It's just Carol looked so happy and I didn't want to be the one to bring here down. It wasn't so much a lie just an omission of the facts. I would tell her just now wasn't the time.

Walking into the cafeteria was a little less comforting. The rumour mill was circled around Lori and I'm sure they were sucking up every word that fell from her mouth. Handing me my plate and a cup Carols eyes fallowed where I was looking. Giving her shoulders a shrug she laughed. "As you can see some things never change."

Fallowing Carol to our usual table we were just starting to sit when Sasha and Maggie came in. Bounding across the room Sasha nearly knocked me out of the chair as she hugged me.