Shattered

Chapter 3- Letting it Out

Derek POV

"What the hell do you want!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs I saw her gulp. I smiled. She was scared.

"The b-bills." She stuttered out.

"What about the bills?!" I asked angrily. She took a step back.

"W-we are 10,000 d-dollars ab-bove our b-budget." She barely got out. Ugh, this girl is such a weakling. Why does she whine about every single thing? Who gave a damn if we were 10,000 dollars above our-wait, what?

"What?! How can you let this happen?!" I screamed at the disgrace in my doorway. "You didn't keep close enough tabs on the budget you brainless bitch!"

"B-bu"

"No buts! Get your ass out of here and don't come back any time soon! Got it?" I questioned her. I saw the tears streaming down her face as she quickly nodded and left. I closed the door behind her, falling onto my bed.

Why is being an alpha so hard? To tell you the truth, I never wanted this. I just wanted to live a normal life. I mean, sure, I loved the power. But the responsibility is just too much to handle sometimes.

I sighed, doing what I always do. I blamed Kattilina. Why was she always so freaking unreliable? I gave her a very important responsibility and she messes everything up? 10,000 dollars... How was I supposed to come up with that when I had a whole pack to take care of?

I decided I would make Kattilina do more of the jobs that we pay others to do. She had nothing else to do anyway. And who cares if she minded? She was a mistake, as everybody called her. We could either kill her, or put her to good use.

And I needed to tidy up for the arrival of Luke. I couldn't have him here with the mess this place is. Kattilina needed to clean better.

I got up and left my room. I needed to find a way to get more money.

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Kattilina POV

I ran out of Derek's room in tears. He was furious. Anyone could tell that. His eyes had turned the pure black that I had become accustomed to. But the way he looked at me with pure hatred just broke me further.

I ran into the laundry room and shut the door. With my back to the door I slid down until I reached the floor. Then I started bawling.

The tears came out in bucketfulls. I couldn't control them as I doubled over and rolled on my side. I let out all the tears I had been holding in today, and I realized. I had never gone a day without crying.

But then I stopped. My sadness changed into an emotion I didn't normally experience. Disgust. I felt my grimace turn into a frown.

My disgust wasn't pointed towards my parents, my pack, or even Derek. My disgust was pointed towards the one person I realized I hated the most. Myself.

No wonder everyone hated me. I was a disgrace! Weak and worthless. I didn't deserve a pack, much less a decent life. I didn't even deserve death. I was hated by any and all. I couldn't blame them. Who could love me?

I got up and screamed into a pillow and felt my anger rise. All my fault... My fault...

I had used up all my energy. Falling onto the ground I felt the vomit rising up my throat. I staggered into the bathroom just in time. All that came out was some stomach acid.

I finally took my head out of the toilet bowl, and I rolled to my side on the floor. I started crying again.

I cried and cried until there were no more tears for me to cry. Slowly getting up, I took some water in my hands and washed out my mouth. I walked into the laundry room and switched the load. Looking out at the night sky through the window- wait, THE NIGHT SKY!!! I ran to the top of the stairwell. Yep, no one was in the living room. Sighing, I walked back into my room, where my blankets were dry on the radiator. I spread them out on the floor. Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I drifted into a long, peaceful sleep