MIKE'S DIARY

CHRISTMAS??

I don't know how long it's been but it's still winter and it's cold we ran out of canned food but lucky no one else lives around here so the hunting has been plentiful. It took some trial and error with the hunting and skinning of the deers but I think I have it down now. Oliva has gotten out of her transe ever since she found Ser Hops, her new stuffed rabbit doll. Witch I'm so happy about because she's finally being a kid again. We don't see much dead anymore because it's so cold the ones that are all skin and bones freeze solid but the bigger fatter ones still lurk but I've gotten the one on one fighting down. Nicky is cold and angry as she was before but only worse. I don't know if it's from the hard world we now live in or if it's from what happened with James, but all she does is check on Oliva, grab her rifle, her books, and sits in one of our deer stands all day. I don't even know if she hunts or just get away from me? Does she blame me for what happened? Does she even still love me? Will this cold ever go away? Are we going to survive? Am I still a good husband and father? Is my best good enough. I just saw a deer after I finished writing and got a nice clean shot through it YES YES YES we have more food for a couple of days now she has to love me now right. My worried tears fade as I look at the white covered trees, the ice cold wind whistle through the gaps of my coat, and my depressing thoughts escape my mind momentarily. I've kept her feed for this long what is one deer gonna change, either way at least my daughter still loves me and at least we will have something to eat.