The way we are

This feeling.

Laura West.

It was a relaxing bath, but I thought about him the whole time.

I can't tell whether he is messing with my head or if he's opening up. Is this actually him, the one Luca told me about when we first met.

I know the coldness, hurtful words and hatred aren't really him. With his family he is different, I especially see it with Milly. The way he looks at her and holds her and cares for her. 

It's just hard to get through the hatred I guess. But he is turning into something I thought I would never see.

His hard face remains though, just his words and actions are kind. Like he is denying himself to submit, something is pulling him back.

I walk into my bedroom and he is sat on my bed, he looks up from his phone.

''Ok?'' He questions and I nod, sliding next to him in the bed.

''Are you hungry?'' He puts his phone down and looks at me.

I look into his eyes before replying, trying to see if there is anything I can take from them. Happiness? Care? Hatred?

But all I see is a man having an internal battle with who knows what. His eyes are bright, but the look of no sleep lingers in them. He looks exhausted.

I shake my head at him.

''Ok'' He sighs as he turns to get off the bed ''I'll let you sleep, just shout me or text me if you need something'' He stands up and I grab his arm lightly.

''What's up?'' He looks at me. He still looks handsome, just not as put together his hair hasn't been gelled down and is lightly ruffled. Little stubble grows on his chin where he hasn't shaved.

''Stay, please'' I ask, I'm not at all sure why I said that maybe it's the fear of being alone? Maybe it's the way his tired eyes look at me. I know he can sleep well with me.

''Are you sure?'' He asks slipping into the duvet beside me.

''Sure'' I say and I snuggle into his chest, his scent relaxes me and he wraps his arm around me and uses the other to play with my damp hair.

''You didn't have to stay at this house with me you know'' I say, enjoying the relaxing moment.

''I know'' 

''Then why stay?'' I question him lightly, I don't want him to explode and just leave.

''When you were gone, I had to get you back. Now your back, something is telling me not to leave you again.'' He exhales through his nose, ''Something I can't describe, It confuses me as much as it confuses you I wish I could answer your question straight, tell you exactly what it is but the truth is Laura.'' He lightly runs a finger on my face. ''I'm trying to figure it out myself.'' 

I nod my head, he doesn't have to describe it because I know how he feels, I feel it too.

After all the hurtful words and manipulation, I'm finally starting to understand this man.

Antonio Ricci.

To wake up with her there, finally. It is pushing these unfamiliar feelings further forward than my urges to tell her nasty things. It's making me want her to see this me. 

Her face is healing quickly, it's not as swollen and I see her distinctive features coming back.

Is it weird to watch someone's face when they sleep, I've never done it until now, I barely look at faces when I sleep with a girl? But she isn't just a girl.