Don't

Fifteen

~ Eight days later ~

"I'll unpack when I'm ready!"

"Dylan, please" Charlie begged, "you've been in this room for days. Do you even remember what daylight is?"

I huffed, covering my head with my duvet, "just leave me alone, I'm fine" I muffled through the fabric

"No! You're not fine" she grabs my duvet pulling it off me. Why do people insist on doing that to me? "Dylan, please. When was the last time you ate?"

"I eat!"

"Peanut M&M's aren't food" she signs picking up an empty bag from the floor and putting it in the bin with the countless others, "at least unpack. It's been two weeks, you're clothes are going to be disgusting"

"They need a wash anyway" I pout, sitting up against the headboard, crossing my arms over my chest

I can see her getting annoyed now, she walks over to my window, opening the curtains and then back to where my suitcase was, picking it up and throwing it onto the bed next to me, "if you don't do it then I'm going to do it! And for fuck's sake open a window, it stinks in here" she yells and storms out, slamming the door behind her

I look down at my suitcase, the threat of tears surfacing. I glance over to the window, the dark gray clouds showing clear signs of rain. Charlie was right. I hadn't left my room since my Skype call with Mikey.

I don't know why but I just felt like I couldn't even cope with standing up. Obviously I would walk to the bathroom and back but it's not the same. I didn't want to move, I didn't want to see anybody, I didn't want to talk to anybody.

I ignored all the calls and texts from Ashton, Mikey and Calum. They started off normal, 'how are you?', 'what you been up to?' When I didn't reply they began the usual worried questioning, asking if I was okay, if I wanted to talk, asking if I was still alive, that was Mikey.

I took a deep breath, getting up from the bed and walking to the window, opening it all the way. The air felt wet, the smell of damp earth surrounding me. I love that smell. I grabbed a large t-shirt and some leggings from the wardrobe, and a pair of underwear from the draw before opening my bedroom door.

"I'm going to take a shower" I called out to Charlie, wherever she may be.

"Thank you!" I heard her clap once, "and don't forget to brush your teeth"

"Who the fuck forgets to brush their teeth?" No response... Rude.

I go into the bathroom, turning on the shower and putting the clothes down on the side. I close the door and strip down before looking at myself in the mirror. I wish I hadn't. I looked awful, my hair was greasy, my skin dry and had almost a strange yellow colour to it. My face was the worst though, my skin was tight, my eyes sunken and the bags under them were almost black.

I quickly turn away from the mirror, not wanting to look at myself and step into the shower.

~

I sat down next to Charlie on the sofa, letting out a deep breath, "are you happy now?"

"Did you unpack?" She looks at me sternly

"No" I reply quietly, looking down at my hands

"Then no, I'm not happy. Why is it so hard to just unpack?"

Because then it'd be over and it'd mean Luke is gone for good, I thought but instead say, "I'm just lazy, I guess"

"Well then be unlazy and I'll make dinner" she says getting up from the sofa

"I'm not hungry" I follow her to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge

"Dylan, you need to eat!"

"And I will... When I'm hungry" I walk away going into my room, I leave the door open and lean against the wall just looking at the suitcase. This is it, goodbye Australia.

Officially. For me anyway.

I put my water bottle down on the dresser next to me and slowly crawl on to my bed, sitting cross legged in front of the suitcase. Staring at it like it was going to hurt me, or something. I let my fingers play with the zips before getting on my knees and pulling them open and around the top of the case. I regain my previous position in front of it.

"Do you want me to help?" I jump slightly, looking at Charlie by my doorway. I shake my head with a small smile, "okay, just call me if you need anything" and she walks away leaving me alone again.

I flip the top of the case and look down at the clothes. They were messy, I don't do messy packing. It must have been from the journey. I see one of my bikini tops and before I even realise what I'm doing, I had it held up to my face, and was sniffing it slightly. I couldn't help the smile on my face, it still smelt like the beach, and brought back so many memories.

I quickly begin to sort through my things, separating them into colours, blacks and whites. It didn't take long and I was getting to the last bits of clothing, when I reached my hand in and heard something crumpling under my touch. I pulled my hand out quickly.

I took a breath and looking into the suitcase pulling the clothes away slowly. Something shiny caught my eye. What is that? I moved the last piece of clothing from it and saw it was a present. I don't remember packing that!

I took it from the case, it was wrapped in a shiny red paper. Red, my favourite colour. I smiled. I turned it over and noticed a small envelope attached to it. I pulled it off when I saw it had my name written on it, resting the gift in my lap.

I took the small card out of the envelope quickly, throwing it to the side before reading what the card said:

I like it a lot better on you! X

What? I dropped the card, ripping at the red paper and froze when I saw what it was. I recognised it straight away, the t-shirt that I loved so much. I ran my hand across the print on the front, shaking slightly.

I grabbed the shoulders and held it up in front of me. It smelt like him still. I turned it so I could see the back, smiling as I read out the words on it, 'stupid, dumbshit, goddam, motherfucker'. I held the shirt to my chest, I honestly didn't know what to feel but I loved it.

Suddenly I thought, 'when the hell did he put this in my bag?' But it didn't last long because I really didn't care, it was just the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

I went to grab the wrapping paper to throw it away when I noticed something else, it looked a bit like the back of a post card but when I picked it up and flipped it over, it was anything but.

I gripped the shirt tighter as I looked at the photo of me and Luke. We had gone to the zoo with Cal and Ash, and we got to hold some wallabies. I remember Ash taking the photo, Luke and I each holding a wallaby and laughing and how cute they were.

The picture was perfect, Luke and I just smiling at each other. I had worn the shirt that day, Luke had told me too after I spotted it in his room and told him how much I loved it. He didn't have to tell me twice.

I lay on my side, curling into a ball slightly. The shirt still tightly gripped to my chest. I sighed, as a single tear fell

"Just call, Luke. All you have to do is call"