Rock 'n' Roll Suicide | Roger Taylor

Walking All Day

Amelie's POV;

I am an idiot. I know I am. For years I have been and apparently, I will continue on being. Stupid, stupid, stupid... How can I be that much of an idiot, for real? Can't my mind for one damn time actually think before it goes about ordering for things to get done? Impulsive and inconsiderate. Terrible sister... Fuck.

What had I actually done?

Well, yes. Those thoughts were racing through my head and I swear I could feel the gears of my brain functioning feverishly. Thinking of what I would do. What I would do now that I had fucked everything up. How would I ever face Brian? Knowing very damn well that I slept with his best friend and not only that, but I rather very much enjoyed it actually. How would I convince myself to stay away from Roger? Now that I fucking fell right on my face for him. I can't even pretend I didn't anymore.

But atop of all. How would I face Roger? After we had a freaking fantastic night, how am I supposed to tell him that it isn't what he probably thinks it is? How the fuck! Gods, please let it be just a stupid thing from his side so he won't pay any mind in it. Please let it be just a silly thing. Let it be just like he is with every other girl... If it will be that way from his side, he won't care and then I won't have to explain or say something wrong that will just hurt him.

Oh shit... That's just stupid. But what did you expect Amy? Huh? What? Now you got to sleep in the bed you made. You'll just compromise with that, after messing things up. Because yes, after all I was the one who kissed him first. I was the one who started it.

And why did I? I don't know. It's just that at this specific moment, I couldn't help it. I just... I thought that even for a moment I could pretend. But here I am now, not knowing how to fix the stupidities I got myself into. And let's say that getting myself into those is my fault, which it is, why dragging Roger along with me? So, not only I am self-distractive but I am distractive for others too. Great.

The sun was up by now, I had watched coming up in the sky, breaking through the darkness, shining weakly over the London streets. It was a moody day. One of those I like. Autumn. Isn't t beautiful? The crunchy leaves under your shoes, the rainy mornings, the tea before leaving  for school, the Doc. Martens boots, the oversized sweaters... I love it.

Well, I guess there's no point in trying to get back to sleep. I chuckled a bit at myself because Roger's cute snoring was still echoing the same it had done when he was fast asleep. It is such a cute sound really. It makes him only the most adorable than he already is. I could feel his hands around my body, and gods... It felt so good. So safe. So... So much like home.

I brought one hand up to his face and pushed away some strands that were plastered on his forehead, watching his features. It's funny really how his features were so changed as he slept. No wrinkles, or frowns, or scrunching ups. His face just reflected a strange, for Roger, calmness. As though, sleep it was the only time his face was completely and utterly relaxed.

"Roger," I whispered softly, not wanting to snap him brutally out of his sleep. He shifted a bit, humming as he came closer to me – if thatwas even possible – snuggling his face between my shoulder and the pillows, clutching me closer. He exhaled sharply, fidgeting his fingers against my bare back. "Isn't it time to wake up?"

"No... 'S not..." He mumbled and I chuckled because the way he said that was the sweetest thing. He talked a bit incomprehensible being sleepy and all. Cute git. I felt his lips softly placing a kiss in my nose as I laughed and watched a sleepy grin spreading across his features, of course not quite opening his eyes yet.

He laughed too, stretching with a groan that had me laughing before turning around taking one of the many pillows and clutching it close to his chest with that grin never leaving its place. He looked so happy. Gods... So happy.