On My Way (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4

I get through at least 6 other songs before a sudden jerk in my hand gets my attention and pulls me out of my music trance. Hmm... What was it now. I give my hand a slight turn so that the screen faces me and get blinded by the brightness. Didn't notice how dark it got. I turn it down and stare at my notifications. It's a text, from my mother. My heart sank for a bit but then I brushed the feeling away. "Don't let her get in the way at the moment. You can deal with her later" I tell myself. Easier said than done. I open up the text message and it was only a chain message. Ugh, I hate those. She knows that yet she loves to torture me with them. Gee, thanks mother, love you too. I get ready to lock my screen again and put my phone away but not without sending one last text. I search in my contacts for their number. I think about whether I should or shouldn't send a text right now. I take my chances and type out 8 letters, 3 simple words. "I Love You." This word has been misused by so many. But I promise that when I use it, I mean it. Every. Single. Fucking. Word. Once I see that the message was sent I shut off the screen and stuff it back into my pockets. I turn to the stranger still sleeping beside me, I hear him snore a bit and can't help but laugh a bit. "Ugh men." I sit there trying to ignore the noises that come out of him while I begin to let my thoughts take over. In just a few minutes my hearts races, but no butterflies. Nope, this isn't cause I'm love sick. It's cause I'm on the border of having an anxiety attack. Fuck, the flashbacks. They're back. And the voices, they're getting louder. With my face in my hands I begin to scream internally. I'm losing the little bit of sanity I have left and I can't do anything about it. As I'm about to lose myself completely the phone in my pocket interrupts my breakdown. And I'm lucky it did. It was a text, from them. I try to read the message but my eyes are still a little watery and during my anxiety attack I lost my glasses to the far corner of my seat. I can only make out a little symbol and that's "❤️" and just like that my heart began to return to it normal steady beat and I sigh in relief. I wipe away any stray tears and once I finally get a hold of myself type out something else.
"Reasons I love you:
- You're adorable.
- You're goregous.
- You're sweet.
- You're funny.
- You're beautiful and band obsessed.
- You're talented
- You're just such an amazing person.
- You're perfect in my eyes.
- You're the only person who truly understands me. (Or even wants to)
- You help me a lot more than you'll ever know.
- I love you for you.
...And that's only the beginning"
As I finish the last sentence I feel a smile begin to form and hit send. My god... I love them.