𝘚𝘦𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘴, 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘪𝘦𝘴

Epilogue

[Lenas POV]
I wake to the sun streaming through the window. As I regain consciousness, I realize that the other half of my bed is empty. I roll over and breath in the scent of my husband and bury myself in the sheets. I smile to myself as I feel my ever growing stomach. I do not care if Kamden leaves before I have woken up, as long as he is happy.

I take one deep breath in before forcing myself to get out of bed. Slowly, I waddle around the room and grab my gown. It is spring but it is still cold in the morning. As I wrap it around myself, I open my bedroom door and make my way downstairs. There are the familiar morning sounds: Hunters chattering about their kills, the chef in the kitchen concocting something delicious. As I step off the last step and into the chilly hall, something rushes past me, followed closely by a small child.

"Hilda!" I exclaim, trying to hide my amusement at the sight of the dog being chased by my daughter. "Leave the poor animal alone."

"Mummy!" She shrieks. "Mummy, come and have breakfast with me."

"Alright." I say.

Before I can move however, someone grabs my waist from behind.

"Finally woken up?" Kamden mocks.

"Let the woman baring your child sleep, they could come any day now."

"Mummy? Daddy?" Hilda appears in the doorway of the breakfast room.

I smile at her. "We are coming." I say.

***

I sit down at the mahogany table and help myself to eggs and homemade bread.

"So," I say to my daughter, "what are going to do today?"

"Um..."

"She's going come with me." Kamden says, sitting next to her and helping her reach the food.

I smile as he stoops to kiss his daughters forehead.

"What will we do?" Hilda asks.

"Why don't I teach you to ride?"

"Ooh, yes please." She says jumping up and hugging his neck.

"What have you got on today?" He asks.

"I just need to talk to Wymond about his arrangement."

***

"Ma'am." Harlow says. "Wymond is here."

Wymond rushes into the room and is already talking: "do not stand, I know what you are like and I also know that you are about to pop."

I laugh and remain seated. He bends and kisses me on the cheek.

"How are you?" He asks.

"Well," start and gesture to my tummy, "tired, excited, scared..."

I trail off because I can see him beginning to look sad. I know how much he struggles with what could have been for him and seeing me never helps.

"I am sure there is more than those three words!" He try's to sound upbeat but behind his eyes, he is in pain still.

I change the subject to what we are supposed to be talking about.

"It has been so long, it will be strange to not see you everyday." I begin. "You do not have to go to Oxbourne."

"I do and it will not be for long. All I have to do is talk to the King and Queen, make the arrangements and help them with what they are planning. After that? I will be back."

"When you are back, you can stay here, like you are doing at the moment. You were so good with Hilda when she was little, you may be help again when this one comes along."

He smiles. "I will gladly help."

***

After our meeting, we go outside to the paddock. There I watch Hilda ride with Kamden and Wymond teaching her on a small bay pony. They disappear into the yard and I am left outside in the cool air, wrapping my coat around me.

"Mummy!" Hilda gets my attention. I turn and see her on my horses back.

"Isn't Storm a bit big for you?" I say, smiling from ear to ear.

"She's my favorite horse, so no!"

I laugh and Kamden comes to stand beside me and we watch Wymond help to teach her some more skills.

"She's just like Hilda it's scary." Kamden says.

"She looks like me, so she looks like Hilda. She has your attitude for learning so she acts like my sister..."

Kamden's arm falls around my shoulder. "We did it. We promised we would and we did."

I turn my face and look into his bright eyes. "We did it." I whisper.

***

[Wymonds POV]
I breath in the fresh air of the lake as I slide off Ebony's back and onto the shore. This is the only place I feel at peace, where I can close my eyes and believe that Hilda is going to appear over the brow of the hill. This was our place.

I lie down on the grassy bank, arms outstretched either side of me, grass sliding through my fingertips. I can hear the birds singing in the trees in the nearby woods. I can hear the sound of the water slipping over rocks, the movement caused by the gentle breeze. The suns rays caress my face, the first traces of warmth in them, thawing the solid ground beneath. Slowly I open my eyes. I see cloudless skies. I tilt my head to the side and see the blooming blossom on the tree in the middle of the lake. I stay here, in this position, for a long time. Eventually, the cold creeps through my riding gear and I know I need to move. I hate the cold. It takes me back to the cells. It takes me back to the pain. I feel the scars over my face, my wrists. So much damage was done and that was only on the outside. I can still hear Hilda's screams to her Father. Her pleading. Stop. Stop. They haunt my dreams. They haunt my mind. Stop. Stop.

I sit up and shake my head, trying to clear it. It has been five years. Five years to recover. Five years to forget. But no matter how long after it may be, I will never forget. I will always relive those horrific moments. Always.

I know I need to put the past behind me, no matter how difficult, no matter what it takes, I know I need to disentangle myself from those memories that hold me down. I need to let them come to me and when they do, I will release them. For five years I have relived that time. For five years I have never let it go. Now I will. I know it will always be there but I need to release it from the cage. I will let them go. I will open a new door, a new beginning. My trip to Oxbourne will help me. A new adventure. A new start. Even if it is for a few months, it will be enough.

I take a deep breath, filling my chest with the fresh air. Memories come to me. They come flooding back. Uncalled for but they are here. These are different. They do not scream in pain. They do not ache my joints. They do not make me shiver and shake. No. These memories make me smile. For so long, no memory has made me smile. These do. I recall so many happy moments I thought I had forgotten about and I laugh. Maybe I am going mad? But I am happy. Happy and grateful for these memories. Snapshots of the life I had. Of the life I could have had. But I am happy nonetheless.

"Oh Hilda." I say to myself as I play with the ring on my finger. "Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you..." I tilt my head to the sky, "I love you, wherever you are, I love you. I will never forget the time we had together and I thank you for that. I am sorry for not protecting you the way I should have. But I know that you understand that what happened was nobodies fault - even if I keep blaming myself - it was nobodies fault. I love you for the fact that I know you would say that. I hope that your Mother is with you, where ever you may be, and you and her have put your past behind you. You were my forever in the weeks we shared. Thank you."