New Storm Rising

26. The Righteous Mr Rikkard Ambrose

"Don't...mphmphmph...don't you think this means that...mphpmphmph...I'm just gonna forgive you for what happened earlier!"

"Certainly not."

"I've merely...mphmphmph...temporarily postponed your punishment in the face of more...mphmph...important matters."

"Definitely. Now..." Glancing at my left hand, which still held the rolling pin while the other was busy shoving the delicious toast into my mouth, he cocked his head. "Why don't you put that cooking utensil down?"

"Ha! In your dreams!"

From behind his back, he pulled out a second ice cream and mustard toast, holding it out to me seductively.

"You...you're evil!"

"As the inhabitants of this country are wont to say, I plead the fifth."

Grumbling, I dropped the rolling pin and grabbed my munchylicious toast. By the time I glanced at the floor again, at the spot where the cooking utensil had landed, the rolling pin had appeared. I glared at Mr Ambrose, who looked supremely, nonchalantly innocent. Sneaky bugger!

I levelled a fierce wifely look at him. "Don't run off thinking that you'll be able to worm your way out of all our future arguments like this!"

"I shall take care to discover different methods."

"Good. You—oy! That wasn't what I meant! I meant you shouldn't try to worm your way out of arguments, period!"

"Indeed?"

"And if you use that word again, I will take one of these pieces of toast and ram it up your backside!"

He cocked his head. "Indeed?"

I met his gaze—then glanced at the toast. The beautiful, delectable, delicious toast. Darn! He knew me too well.

"Next time I'll show you!" I promised, then took a big bite of toast. Aaahhhh...how come I hadn't realized until recently what a marvellously tasty combination ice cream and mustard would make?

"Certainly."

"Harrumph." I took another bite. "So...what now?"

"That depends. I was just about to receive a report from the marshal. Would you be interested in sitting in on our discussion?"

"Does a bear crap in the woods?"

"Would you like my honest opinion from personal observation?"

I blinked, the toast that suddenly didn't seem quite so delicious anymore frozen half-way to my mouth. "You mean you actually watched a bear doing his...?"

"When you spend years digging up gold in the mountains, you cannot help witnessing certain scenes."

"Mr Ambrose?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to never ask you a rhetorical question again."

"Noted. The marshal?"

I nodded. "Call him in."

Reaching out, Mr Ambrose rang the bell on his desk. A moment later, a nervous yet excited young man stuck his head through the door. I recognized one of the villagers who had first come to ask us for help.

"Yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir? What can I do for you, Mr Ambrose, Sir?"

"Send in the marshal, please."

"Yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir! Right away, Mr Ambrose, Sir!"

Rushing out, the man skipped down the corridor.

I raised my toast-holding hands to do air quotes. "Yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir! Right Away, Mr Ambrose, Sir!"