Blue Flame

Ch 9: Apologies And Confessions

After Lloyd Finished His Story, I Became Quiet

"They Are Really Good Detectives" I Thought To Myself

But Then I Thought Of Annabelle, And How She Was Able To Get Me To Confess My Feeling About All That Has Happened

I Looked At My Friends And Instantly Felt Guilty

I Was Able To Share My Feelings With a Child I Just Met But Not To My Best Friends That I Had For Years

The Realization Hit Me Hard

I Was A Jerk To Them

They Were Only Trying To Help And I Didn't Allow Them To

I Felt My Eyes Get Watery And I Started To Cry

Wet Tears Streamed Down My Face

"Im Sorry" I Squeaked Out

"For What?" Asked Lloyd, Solemnly

"For Pushing You Away" I Answered

"Hey Its Ok Kai, Don't Cry, It Was A Lot Of Stress On You, We Are Sorry For Trying Force Your Feelings Out" Lloyd Said It Like A Parent Trying To Console A Crying Child

So Soft

So Understanding

"Yeah, Kai Im Sorry Too. I Was Upset And I Let It Out On You" Apologized Jay

"I D-Did The Same Th-Thing To You Jay" I Stuttered Out

"Also, Im Sorry For Not Being There When You Needed It" Added Cole, Awkwardly

I Continued To Cry, Shaking Slightly

As I Cried Lloyd Wrapped Me In A Hug

I Didn't Realize How Much Of An Emotional Mess I Was, Till This Point

Too Many Emotions Stuffed Inside, And They Just Bursted Out Into This

Things That Happened In The Past Resurfaced Like A Cork Chucked Into The Waves

It Happened Just Like That

Childhood, Missions, Pain, Suffering, Forgotten Memories That I Wish Stayed Forgotten

All Of Those Filled My Mind

Before I Knew It, I Was Crying About Those Things Too

Lloyd Didn't Mind

Heck, Nobody Minded About My Long Time Of Crying

They Been There When Pain And Suffering Happened To Me

Pain, That If It Happened To Anyone Else, They Would Remember It Forever And Not Shove It Deep Inside Themselves

It Was Like Old Wounds Reopening

It Felt Weird Being The Only One Crying

It Made Me Look Weak

But It Didn't Matter

Crying Is A Normal Way To Express Emotion

It's Just Nature

It's Just Human

After A Good 5 Or 10 Minutes Of Crying I Finally Calmed Down

Lloyd Looked At Me With A Smile

"There We Go.." He Said "Feel Better?"

I Nodded

It Did Feel Good To Cry, It Made Me Feel A Bit Calmer

I Looked At Lloyd's Outfit Which Was Soaked With My Tears

"Sorry" I Apologized Quietly

"It's No Big Deal, At Least You're Feeling Better" He Said, Happily

"So, Are You Ready To Go Home?" Asked Zane

"Yeah" I Answered

Lloyd Released Me From His Embrace And Helped Me Up

We Then Walked Home

When We Got Home We All Sat In The Living Room

I Felt Like It Was Time For Me To Open Up To Them

And So With A Sigh, I Finally Worked Up The Courage To Tell Them About My Feelings

"Whenever You're Ready" Said Jay

"Well. . ." I Started

"Ever Since Nya-" I Paused And Looked Down

"Carry On" Comforted Lloyd

I Sighed And Started:

"Ever Since Nya Left Us, I Felt Like A Part Of Me Was Missing, I Felt Empty. Nya Was The Reason Why I Joined The Team And Now That She's Gone, I Just Feel Like That Im Just There. Just Another Person On The Team. "

"Also That She Is My Little Sister, The Only Other Person I Had When I Was A Kid. If She Wasn't There, I Wouldn't Have The Will To Carry On And Just Give Up, Alone, Broken, Young And Unloved."

"I Feel Like I Failed Her, I Couldn't Help Her When She Needed It The Most. All I Could Do Was Watch As She Slipped Away From Me."

"I-I Tried To Be Strong, Make Myself Seem Like It Didn't Matter, But It Did, She Meant The World To Me. I Got Scared, That One Of You Guys Would Be The Next One To Go. I Didn't Want To Show That Fear. Fire Isn't Dull, Dark And Depressing. Fire Is Bright, Warming, And Powerful. I Felt Like I Wasn't Acting To My Element That Im Not Supposed To Be Depressing!" I Cried Out

"I Was Scared That I Would Forget Her! That She Would Be Just A Forgotten Memory."

"I Was Just Scared. . . For The Future"

I Ended My Confession And Stared Down At The Floor

The Team Was Looking At Me With Faces Of Shock And Pity

"Wow Kai, We Had No Idea" Said Jay, Frowning

"You Were Hiding All Of That From Us?" Asked Cole

I Nodded

"Thank You For Sharing That With Us" Thanked Zane

Lloyd Looked At Me With Sad Eyes

"Kai, Nothing Is Going To Happen To Us, Everything Is Going To Be Ok." He Said

"Are You Sure?" I Asked Softly

"Very Sure, We'll Be With You Till The End"
He Answered With A Smile

"And That's A Promise"