Scaramouche's "apprentice"?

New conditioning

A/n: I've pretty much quit genshin so I haven't been in Inazuma or anything so sorry if it's a but inaccurate at times-
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It's been four years since the incident. Since all the pain. But never mind that, it hurts y/n to think about.

  'I've been here for a while now and I still don't know what I'm going to do.." y/n ponders while listening to classical orchestra.

~

Y/n doesent have much to live for seeing as Baizhu is getting older and he is in a medical bed. If his condition will worsen or get better is about 80/20. The 80% leans more to not making it.

Qiqi seems to be just fine and she's able to function better and run the pharmacy just fine.

Hu-Tao is y/n's only friend but still. It's not like they're super close or anything special.

And the guilt that consumes her about Scaramouche is unbearable.

Y/n feels like a terrible friend and a terrible person, guilt,anxiety,and depression are her everyday moods now. She refuses to look anyone in the eye or even have her posture high. She keeps a low profile and those who know her don't go near her or bother to make conversations with her considering the facts that no one knows she's alive or the fact that she is 'Fatui' and being a harbinger is very frowned upon in most of Liyue Harbor. Especially Mondstat. Even in Inazuma.

Y/n's been 'alive' for a month now so it's really only a matter of time until the Tsaritsa catches word.

The thought of it fills her with anxiety and dread. Y/n doesent want anyone to see her in this state of weakness and guilt. She barely even goes outside except for when she's gathering herbs to try and heal Baizhu or just buying food to last her for the week.

~

'Why am I still here? I can just run away and be free. Not like anyone will look for me' y/n thinks as her warm tears slowly become cool and dry on her face leaving a burning feeling in her eyes and darkening the eye bags.

Y/n stands up and stretches as moonlight pours into her room. 'Tonight is the night I suppose' she chuckles in a monotone voice before packing a few belongings, a pair of clothes, and enough food to have one lunch.

Fixing her hair and adjusting her clothes she heads down the stairs or the pharmacy and out the door ever so casually. Not leaving a trace or making a sound. Turning around once and feeling the burning in her eyes while imagining poor Baizhu in the bed and Qiqi running the pharmacy alone.

'Stop' y/n chants to herself while picking up the pace.

Once at the gate y/n feels finally at peace.

'I need to get back to the Tsaritsa before she finds out the hard way and I'm forced to speak infront of everyone'.. she ponders on how to get to the Tsaritsa.

~

Once to the gate of the Fatui she had a few spears pointed at her.

"Now now there's no need for violence~" a familiar voice states. "Childe??" You question to the orange headed 5'11 fatui member right infront of you.

"Who might you be~?" Childe asks in amusement. "Y/n l/n. But you are expected to not tell anyone who I am. Especially not Scaramouche" you say knowing if you lie you won't be able to get into the Fatui and if you tell your name there is a risk of Scaramouche finding out. But it's a risk you don't have a choice in taking.

" ohhh y/n you never fail to amuse me yknow!!" Childe says almost as ecstatic as a young child opening a gift. "I want to hear alllll about it!" He says grabbing your wrist and pretty much sprinting to his office.