dear freaking jerk.

19/3/20

Dear Dazai,

Stop calling me chibi!! I'm growing you idiot. Just because you are a zombie doesn't mean that you can call me chibi.

Panini is a kind of sandwich, it was illegal in my school because you need to use fire to make it

I did it anyway and people bought it so I won anyway.

The test went good.. I stressed iver absolutely nothing, those were stuff I already knew.

And a quill? Really? Doesn't only old mafia bosses or poets use those? And it is unnecessarily fancy.

My favorite ice cream flavor.. probably salty pretzels. Or pistachio, I love pistachio.

Oh! I finished the book I told you about. It has a sad ending :(
I really wasn't expecting that

I talked to the new kid too! Apparently his name is Mark! He's from the US.

I finally fixed my guitar too, it was broken because of bad delivery guys. It really sucked it was a present.

How was your day Dazai? And what's you favorite accessory?

"Salty pretzels?" Dazai murmured, rolling a roll of bandages between his fingers.

He glanced at the black phone on the desk and then back at the paper.

Hmmmmmm..

He pressed the button "Higuchi? Get me ice cream. Salty pretzels, put it in my penthouse." There was a confused noise at the phone then Higuchi cleared her throat

'Right away boss'

Dazai ended the call.

"Accessory" Dazai closed his eyes, tapping his foot on the floor. He doesn't use accessories, how is he supposed to have a favorite one?

He pulled an old piece of paper, crossed his legs and started writing.

Chuuya makes him think about stuff he never did before.

×
*
×

God he loves whisky.

Dazai will marry it if he could

Its probably not healthy to drink so much whiskey but god it makes everything feel better.

Lupin didn't change at all.. he's grateful to have one thing in his life that didnt change.

He strips off his black France coat and tare the bandages away from his face and arms

They feel scratchy on his skin.

He kicks his shoes somewhere to trip over later and presses the button on the door to let his dogs out of their cages in the training room.

He can hear their footsteps on the second floor and within ten seconds two dogs are sitting at his feet and waiting for orders.

"Free" Dazai commands and both dogs are walking up the stairs again to their kennels.

Dazai keeps walking into the dark living room and sits down on the couch, spreading his long legs and rubbing his tired eyes.

He opens them and stars at the tall ceiling.

He feels numb.

He feels tired.

He feels the urge to fight.

He feels lonely.

He feels hyperaware.

He can hear the ac of the bakery in the other side of the street is still on, even if he's on the 49th floor.

Its so loud.

Too loud.

How does he make it stop?

He hears the dripping of an IV.

He can smell the medication.

He can see the white room.

He can feel his eyes watching every move.

He snaps his eyes open

He needs to stop

He gets up from the couch and walks over to the kitchen, tripping over his shoes and he curses.

Dazai takes the glass bottle and opens it, throwing the lid away somewhere to be picked up, later if it didnt broke.

He downs the bottle while walking to the kitchen bar and sits down, putting the glass bottle on the table and hearing it crack.

It wasn't a nice bottle anyway.

He looks over at the pile of letters, all stacked nicely. He looks at the picture of Chuuya's cat and bites his higher lip.

He does have pictures of the dogs..

Fuck it.

Dazai takes a notebook and rips two pages apart, clicks a red pen and he writes.