Swapped

Chapter 46: Leave Me Alone!

"Aria please, just try eating half at least" Noah says with pleading eyes. I hate making people worry about me but I just can't. I can't eat, I don't want to eat, I just want to be alone.

I stay silent not trusting my voice. The silence seems to just make the situation worse as I can hear the desperation in their voices increasing and their patience running thin.

"Just eat the food Aria" Hunter says, not being able to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Zach asks impatiently.

"Please just try a little bit for me," Enzo says softly.

"Aria-" Xavier starts but gets interrupted by the loud noise of me, slamming my hands on the table as I stand from my chair.

"WILL ALL OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I yell as I try to keep my voice from breaking. This was the first time I ever swore in front of them. Actually, I never used a lot of bad words before either

 I always had control over my feelings, at least in front of people. My old friends always asked me to look angry so they could see how I would look.

They said it was weird for me to smile all the time and never be upset. But now, I feel broken, emotional, angry, sad, tired, maybe even depressed. I had my head down as my eyes stayed glued to my hands lying on the table.

My eyes started to burn from the tears I won't let shed. The room was silent, so silent you could hear the wind outside slamming against the mansion. I couldn't take the silence anymore and tried running towards my room. 

Yes, I tried, but sadly I didn't go far. As I was about to pass Xavier to get out of the dining room, he caught my wrist in his big hand.

He had a strong grip not letting me go any further. I turned around, glaring at him with tears in my eyes ready to spill at any moment. He looked cold and emotionless as always, as his eyes stared into my broken soul.

It almost looked like his eyes softened just a little as he stared at my teary eyes. Hurt flashed through his eyes but was gone as soon as it came.

"Let me go!" I said angry with a broken voice. He didn't respond but only tightened his grip around my wrist as I tried yanking my arm away.

"I'm not letting you go," He said calmly but with a stern voice. I felt my anger getting worse and all my emotions ready to explode inside me. I started pulling my arm even harder not caring for the slight pain in my wrist as he held it.

"Stop struggling, you're just going to end up hurting yourself" He said as a hint of frustration was evident in his voice.

"I don't care, just let me go!" I yell, just wanting to be alone right now. "I already told you, I'm not letting you go so stop struggling" He says as i can start hearing the anger he so desperately is trying to hide.

"I understand how you feel but I am not letting you hurt yourself by starving, just because you feel like you can't eat. You can be angry and even hate me, but I will not let you do this to yourself" He continues with his usual stern voice.

"Now sit down and eat" He says, narrowing his eyes at me. I can't help it, no matter how little I care right now, I still get affected by him like all the times before. 

His sharp tone, deep voice, cold grey eyes and stern look all compel me to listen. I sit down on my chair again as I stare at the food. I wiped away my tears quickly as they were just starting to spill.

Xavier gives one look to the others, making them all leave with mixed feelings on their faces. He sits down beside me as he rests his chin on his knuckles, with his elbow on the table. Like it wasn't hard eating before, now he's gonna stare at me while I do it?

"Oh and don't think about waiting me out, I can be a very patient man when I want to" He says with his eyes glued to mine.

I push my lips into a thin line, trying to keep the anger at bay. I sigh, realizing I have to eat to be able to be alone. I take a small bite, chewing it slowly and swallowing.

As I continue to eat, I start thinking about Sebastian. 'I wonder if he has eaten something? He never cooked food when no one was home and I was always the one that took care of him.

I wonder where he's living, I wonder if... he's even still alive' I tighten my grip on my fork as I notice how my hand has started shaking from the thoughts.

I look down at my plate to see that I have finished half of my food. I feel sick, I can't eat anymore.

"I can't eat any more" I say quietly from the lack of energy. He looks hesitant at first but nods. I stand to leave, not wanting to be stuck here for another second. I stop in my tracks as Xavier calls my name.

"I know you want to be alone right now but I highly recommend that you don't. I don't want you bottling up your emotions" He says, making me clench my fists. I have so many mixed feelings that I don't even know what to say.

I can't accept comfort as I think of my twin brother probably crying all alone somewhere. But I feel so broken and alone that keeping it all in seems impossible. I continue walking again as I make my way upstairs in my room to be alone.

As I enter my room, I close the door and run straight to bed, slamming my face into the pillow. My eyes close as I feel myself drifting off to sleep. 

A/N: So what do you think about Xavier?