True Love Forever!!

Chaper five: Maybe not the end

We'll here I am again. Telling my story as to be told. We'll my true love (my oh so handsome ex bf) is now back in my life. Not dating me, but as a friend. It is so weird to realize just how much you love someone. Do you ever get that feeling?

We'll turns out by me saying that I love him. He started opening up to me, he told me he almost dumped his gf for me. We'll it was just a bit of a shocker, made my hopes high but my feeling stronger... "no" I keep telling my self as I wonder how he is today, or if e ever thinks of me.
How hard can it be just to forget about someone that you where helplessly in love with for almost a year!? Hello not meany people can forget bout that. I know that I can't. It feels like my love just keeps growing.... and growing.. well who knows any more.

My heart wants him back, as he tells me he loves me, and calls me his kitten... why?
"You know you could date him again!?" My little brother pokes his head around the corner. I laugh
"Sure if I wanted to piss him and his gf off"
"We'll who cares!!"
"Umm. I do!?"
"No stupid!! I'm talking bout his gf!!!" My face is red as I feel so stupid for saying I do.... "Duuuhhh!!!" He smiles and walks away leaving me there to think.
Would he take me back? Would he love me? Would he even want me to be his again? All of the thoughts running through my mind. Hardly giving me time to think bout anything else.. ugh.
By the time I am done sorting through everything, it's time for dinner. "oh joy" I whisper to my self. Time for my family to criticize me.
We all sit down, but this time in silents.
The pain I feel no one sees, it is hard to explain... I miss seeing him, I miss looking in to his eyes, I miss being his kitten. I lay in bed or sit out side and silently cry. Pain heals, or so I'm told. "did you learn anything from that?" My mothers voice mocking me.
"I have learned a lot....and I changed for the best.." tears starting to stream my face. I should have said no, I should have not of done what I did.
If your quite enough you can hear the heart brake one little beat at a time. Soft but quite... my heart, no it's not mine...

I smile and say I'm fine, but I'm not. it hurts when I cry, it hurts when I think bout him. it hurts because I screwed up. I wish there was a way to tell him how much he meant to me. Or tell him that Ilove him. but I don't know how...