Guilty Desires [18+]

Chapter ten.

you swear you could've heard Emily say that there's something about Jennifer that you needed to know.Yet it could've been your imagination from lack of sleep and the amounts of paperwork from work.In that moment,It didn't matter,you were in your girlfriend's arms safe and content.

As you were waking up,you felt a pair of arms pull you in closer.Emily was snuggled deep into your side.You've got to admit,you absolutely loved days when you get to wake up a bit later and watch her sleep.She look like an angel when she slept,her little snores were the cutest.

"You keep looking at me like that,we'd never leave this bed,love" you heard her mumble under her breath. She peeled her eyes open and smiled when she looked at you. "Good morning sweet girl" she said in her husky morning voice.You weren't gonna lie,it was kind of hot.

You leaned into her,kissing her lips,Emily started grabbing the back of your head,pulling your hair a bit.A moan escaped from your lips. " Mhm such a tease,yet always wanting more,but y/n we're gonna have to talk about last night." That was the last thing you wanted to talk about.Always in your family,you never actually talked about your problems or feelings much, that it was just better left unspoken.

You whined, " Em,do we really have to?I think there's better things to talk about."you started to straddle Emily,kissing down her neck.She wanted to just give in but she stopped you.She put both of her hands on both sides of your face to make you look at her. "Look even though I'm not too happy about the bathroom situation with JJ,I think you deserve to hear the truth about her.

"Truth?what truth?You're starting to scare me.." you were becoming confused yet scared of what was fixing to come out of Emily's mouth. " Listen Y/n,before you even came to the BAU,Jennifer and I kind of had a thing going on.it was more than a hook up,I loved her and I thought she really loved me back,but it was until I found out she'd been seeing a guy named Will behind my back."

You were sad at those words.How could someone cheat on this beautiful,wonderful woman that was sitting in front of you.Yet the question was,why would JJ be hitting on you, if she was supposedly still seeing this Will guy.You also knew that since that Emily was being truthful about her past with JJ,that you'd also have to tell her that little make out session wasn't the first time.

Emily,you don't know how much I appreciate you trusting me and telling me about what happened between the two of you,but there's something you should know as well." You felt like you were pretty much choking on your words.Tears were starting to form in your eyes,how could you tell your girlfriend that you've kissed her ex more than once.You didn't want to break her heart but knew if would break her heart more if she'd found out later down the road. "Uhm Emily,so remember when I came home kind of early late that night from JJ's? Well uhm I had a little bit to drink but not too much,JJ on the other hand well,you know just downed the whole bottle."

It was so heart wrenching telling Emily this when you could've told her the night it happened,that the sting would've been a lot less painful. "We'll uhm JJ kind of kissed me and I let it linger on for a few seconds but I stopped it.I told her I was in a relationship and we couldn't do anything,that all I saw her as was just my best friend." I could see the glossiness in Emily's eyes.You could hear the sadness fixing to be in her voice and it hurt you to tell her but at least it came from you.

    "Look,Y/n,I don't know if I'll ever forgive you right now for not telling me the first time this all happened,but I need to go out for a bit,to clear my head."Before you knew it,she got dressed and left in quite a hurry.You stayed in bed for what felt like hours crying,you didn't get up to get or anything else besides the bathroom.There was a big chance you've ruined your relationship with Emily.She was your world,your everything,she made you the happiest even on your most horrible days.